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Ever wondered what an English amateur dramatics production of Goodfellas might look like?

As far back as he could remember, Mike Jacobs always wanted to be a football hooligan. Lured into the glamorous underworld of credit-card fraud by a RADA reject with a plummy accent, Mike (Nick Nevern) quickly finds himself in over his head – cueing up a never-ending montage of dodgy deals, coke sniffing and bar brawling.

Charting the boring career of a real-life yob turned international money launderer, Paul Tanter’s hackneyed, embarrassing British crime thriller is mercifully short, but still 80 minutes too long.