The 27 Funniest Onion Movie Stories

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Hilarious phoney film news from US satire kings

We love The Onion - the New York-based newspaper/website that, astonishingly, has been going since 1988.

Although the writers cover a broad rack of newsy stories ('Drugs Win Drugs War'), they have an extra-strong grasp on the absurdities of movie/celebrity culture.

So, in slightly tenuous celebration of their 21st anniversary, here's a countdown of our favourite Onion movie riffs...

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27. Fight On Top Of Movie Train Not Looking Good For Area Villain

 

26. Brad Pitt Signs On To Play Top Hat In Forthcoming Monopoly Movie

 

25. Stephen Baldwin's Personal Assistant Promoted To Stephen Baldwin

 

24. Jason Statham Beats Wedding Planner To Death In New Romantic Comedy

 

23. Former Movie Star Remains Comatose Following Career-Reviving Car Crash

 

22. Michael Bay Signs $50m Deal To Fuck Up 'Thundercats'

 

21. Area Woman Worried She's Forgetting What Heath Ledger Looked Like

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20. New Terminator Movie Brings JD Salinger Out Of Hiding

 

19. Vindictive Movie Studio Threatens To Make Coyote Ugly Sequel

 

18. Film About Little Guy Battling Huge, Morally Bankrupt Organisation Made By Huge, Morally Bankrupt Organisation

 

 

16. Grown-Up Ferris Bueller Charms His Way Out Of Paying Child Support

 

15. Cast Of Space: 1999 Reunites For TV Movie Space: 1999 '99

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14. Area Dad Botches Princess Bride Quote

 

13. 12 Publicists Dead, 43 Injured in Struggle To Transform The Rock Into Dwayne Johnson 

 

12. Bitchy Girlfriend Just Asking For Anne Hathaway To Swoop In, Steal Man Away

 

11. The Taking Of Pelham 123 Not Nearly As Bad As Area Man Was Anticipating

 

10. Voice-Activated GPS Takes Top Gun Soundtrack Fan Into The Danger Zone

 

9. Historic 'Blockbuster' Store Offers Glimpse Of How Movies Were Rented In The Past

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8. Tow-Truck Driver Has Great Idea For Tow-Truck Movie

 

7. Ben Affleck Hoping Jason Bourne Has Sidekick In Next Movie

 

6. Kim Jong Il Unfolds Into Giant Robot

 

5.  Jesus Demands Creative Control Over Next Movie

 

4. Jennifer Love Hewitt Pays Magazine $2.2 Million To Run Photos Of Her Baby

 

3. Trekkies Bash New Star Trek Film As 'Fun, Watchable'

 

2. American Life Turns Into Bad Jerry Bruckheimer Movie

 

 

Which is your favourite? Any we missed? Comment-speak!

 

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