Sintendo: The evil side of kiddy gaming

21) SPLITTING HEADACHE
Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker

Link’s a murderer. You could argue that he’s only killing evil people, but there’s absolutely no need to stab the Master Sword right through Ganondorf’s forehead and down through his throat. Still, at least there’s no danger of Ganondorf returning after this battle.



23) BATHTIME BUTCHERY
Hitman 2: Silent Assassin

Topping our Hitman moments list is the Jacuzzi Job mission. Fibre-wiring his two bimbos before gunning down the naked oaf while he bathes is a gruesome task, but it’s topped by then pulling him out of the tub, spreading his legs and dragging his escorts into a rather suggestive position. Who says we need help?



24) DR TUROK’S BRAIN DRAINING
Turok 2: Seeds of Evil

Before Turok turned rubbish (and morphed into a space marine) he had a thirst for blood and a stockpile of awesome weapons. Top of the list was the Cerebral Bore: a gun that fired prongs into the brain of an enemy, drained its cerebrospinal fluid and then caused its head to explode in a shower of blood, skull fragments and brain fluid. Unfortunately the weapon was never taken on board by Mario and co. Wonder why?



25) BOOM! HEADSHOT!
XIII

Nail a headshot and you’ll be rewarded with a three-frame slo-mo close-up of your dirty work showing the bloody results in all their gory glory. It may look like a cartoon, but XIII didn’t pull any punches when it came to violence. Where’s that sequel we were always promised?

Jun 13, 2008