Razor Blade Smile review

Jake West's directorial debut originally appeared in the Independents' Day section of Total Film Issue Four, and is the least likely cinema release we've seen all year. With a cast of varying talent (lead vamp Eileen Daly puts in a performance of gargantuan amateurism), the story makes lavish use of cheap locations (flat interiors, fields) and a few expensive ones (a big house) while it tells the tale of a 100-year-old vampire hit-woman.

Masses of sex, nudity and violence do keep you watching, although the twin handgun shootouts are shot in a fairly lack-lustre way. Mercifully, older actors Adamson and Warbeck are canny enough to realise the hopelessness of the situation, camping it up like ghoulish Widow Twankeys. If ever a flick demanded to be seen on the small screen, late at night, while intoxicated, it's this one.