How to make your game last longer in 9 easy time-wasting steps

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Helping you squeeze the maximum hours from your software purchase

Above: Max Payne was a pioneer in eking things out with no extra gameplay

Step 6: Obsessively collect everything

Collecting things in games isn't only fun, it's also massively time intensive. It often requires cross-referencing with an internet guide written by someone fluent in ASCII but unfortunately unable to construct anything that remotely resembles intelligible English. The deciphering alone can increase game time dramatically.

Above: You can collect them and then spend more time looking at them

And don't just stop at the special collectibles. You want to search and pick up and examine everything that you can to really get the most out of your game. Don't proceed until every stone has been turned, every pot smashed, every document read, every dead body ransacked. Ensuring you do this will cause further game elongation and consequently assist with the sixth step, Step 6.

Step 7: Be indecisive when choosing which items to drop

If you adhere to Step 5, then you will find yourself perilously over encumbered even before you've got anywhere near completing an actual objective. Dropping items in order to pick up new ones should be a thoughtful, time-consuming process.

Above: Are you sure you want to drop it? It could come in handy later

Don't just chuck things out willy-nilly. Examine your entire inventory with painfully laborious diligence, comparing stats of all items before arriving at a decision. Should you throw out the rat meat or the golden cufflinks of vigor? It's not an easy call, so take your time!

Step 8: Speak to all NPCs at least twice

Above: They talk bollock nonsense, but it's a sure-fire game lengthener speaking to them again and again and again

Not only does sitting through the same inconsequential conversation multiple times lengthen the game by a considerable margin, but it's always best to just check that the townsfolk have got nothing more to say.

Step 9: Sit through the entire credits

The last boss has been beaten. That's it. Well done you! But hang on - this game still has at least 20 minutes to stuff into your eyes. The credits. Now seemingly longer than anything Hollywood can manage, it’s easy to feel that the end credits outstay their welcome with their imposing and lingering presence on your screen. But they should be embraced.

Above: End credits can be time-consuming and mildly entertaining

Some progressive thinking developers have even made credits interesting by making them playable or by using quirky songs or having crazy 'shout out' quotes from members of the development team. Just sit back and relax - they're a great way to unwind and reflect on all the value for money that you've painstakingly squeezed out of the game. With just a little help from GamesRadar!

April 21, 2010

Matt Cundy
Matt Cundy
I don't have the energy to really hate anything properly. Most things I think are OK or inoffensively average. I do love quite a lot of stuff as well, though.