One year later, I faced my fears to finish Alan Wake 2 and it changed my perception of survival horror

I'm surrounded by shadows in Alan Wake 2. I grip my PS5 DualSense controller for dear life, as though I'm actually holding the torch that acts as Alan's first line of defense against the dark entities. I can't tell which of these silhouetted figures will actually attack me, and which will simply fade away when I shine a light on them, but if I've learned anything about the Dark Place by now, it's that you can never trust what you see. I'm constantly on edge as I inch further into the theater hall of a cinema; acutely aware of the tension freezing every muscle in my body. I've just changed the scene using Alan's plot board, and the sight of shadows filling theater seats fills me with dread. I barely have any battery left to fight against them, but I need to reach the stage ahead to progress. There's nothing else for it. I have to run.

I sit up straight as an arrow in my seat, inhaling a deep breath like I'm preparing to bolt forward to relative safety in reality. Steeling myself, I push Alan forward, beelining it past every shadow as they angrily yell "WAKE". It's not until some time later, when I stand in the now empty theater and watch a short live-action film play out on the screen inside the game, that I remember why I'm doing all of this in the first place.

Since this month marked one year since the release of Alan Wake 2, I set myself the goal of at last seeing it through to the end. I don't handle horror all that well, and after a particularly unsettling section of the game, I took an extended break from the terrors lurking within the Dark Place and Bright Falls. But upon returning, I've come to find that making it through every scare as Alan and Saga is completely worth it when I'm continually met with yet more examples of Remedy's creative flair for storytelling. No one is more surprised than me to find that making it through the survival horror has not only been personally rewarding in a very unexpected way, but it's also been the most enjoyable experience I've had with the genre to date.

The Dark Place

I'm not one who gravitates towards playing horror games. In fact, I generally avoid them, preferring to stay a safe distance away from the scares. When I first played Alan Wake on my Xbox 360 many years ago, I was surprised by how engrossed I became in the weird goings on in Bright Falls. Even though it's not strictly speaking a horror game, it felt about as close as I wanted to get to the genre. You can only imagine, then, that if I found Alan's previous thriller unsettling, I would be a tad apprehensive about stepping into Alan Wake 2 – which promised to ramp things up in the fright department.

But even with the shift into survival horror territory, I was determined to reunite with the troubled writer and find out how his story continued over a decade later. Before I knew it, I was facing the terrors of the Dark Place, making my way through the eerie forestlands of Cauldron Lake, and even braving the unnerving attractions of Coffee World. While I was absolutely afraid a lot of the time, I was also proud of myself for getting past every jump-scare and frightening foe.

It was only once I reached the Valhalla Nursing Home in Saga's shoes that I was really pushed past my limits. Even now, the thought of that haunting place and the encounter with Cynthia makes me actively shudder and want to run away and hide. My scaredy-cat heart couldn't take anymore, and I took a long break from Alan Wake 2. Months and months passed, but it was never far from my mind.

Back to the light

I kept thinking about all of the memorable creative moments I'd seen so far in Alan Wake 2 – such as the incredible live-action musical number, as well as highlights like the commercials I'd come across by the Koskela Brothers. I just knew there was more in store for me to discover, and I was so curious to see how Saga and Alan's respective journeys would come together and conclude. The impending one year anniversary since the game's release was the final push I needed.

But if I was going to face my fears to finish Alan Wake 2, I was determined to go all in with it. Not only did I see it through to the end, but I also set out and successfully found every collectible. I spent a large chunk of time revisiting areas that had previously terrified me – including the dreaded care home – to find every lunch box, nursery rhyme, and cult stash. Earning the trophies for my efforts and seeing all of the collectibles laid out on Saga's caseboard was an added serotonin boost, but the best reward was yet to come.

In spite of the scares, I unexpectedly found the experience of finishing Alan Wake 2 oddly comforting and encouraging. Just as I don't want to be in a horror game, Saga and Alan want out of the horror story they find themselves in. In a strange way, their journey mirrors my own goal to get through it. As I push them to keep moving forward and find a solution both in and out of the Dark Place, I'm also pushing myself to overcome my fears. The fact that I also relate to both characters in unexpected ways also makes me become so attached and invested. I want to keep fighting to bring light back to their lives, and see the light at the end of the tunnel myself.

When I at last saw the credits roll, and roll, and roll, the sense of accomplishment was unparalleled. Getting through every jump-scare and unnerving location, and facing each hair-raising enemy was completely worth it, because I got to experience a journey that became so personally meaningful to me in more ways than one. From memorable live-action scenes to wonderfully weird action sequences, Alan Wake 2 pushed me into a genre I tend to avoid and opened me up to in the most surprising ways.

But the biggest shock was just how much I ended up enjoying the experience, despite my accelerated heart rate. I'll never forget my time with Remedy's survival horror, or the way it helped me on a personal level. If this experience has taught me anything, it's that sometimes it really does pay to face your fears.

Here's how Alan Wake 2's Lake House DLC sold our very own features editor Andy Brown on Control 2 quicker than playing Control did.