I was about ten minutes into my first session of Helldivers 2: The Board Game when I realized that I'd fucked up.
"They're glorified cockroaches," I thought as I looked over the Terminids scattered across the table in front of me. "And I've got a flamethrower. How hard could it be?" Very, as it turns out. We got a few turns into Helldivers 2: The Board Game and I was suddenly in danger of recreating that Community meme where Donald Glover walks in with pizza to find everything on fire. Space bugs were chowing down on our troops as if they were French fries. The dice gods weren't gracing us with good rolls. Oh, and we hadn't even touched our objective. In fact, we'd barely been able to move before a clutch of very angry insects surrounded us on all sides. I believe the appropriate response here is "whoops" - or something a bit more colorful.
The funny thing is, I can't wait to dive back in. This adaptation is a unique experience unlike so many of the best board games, and it does the chaotic, tongue-in-cheek world of Helldivers proud.
Welcome to planet pain
My mistake had been underestimating the Terminid horde. After a demo version of the game (which is back on Gamefound for an encore after earning more than $2,442,100/£1,835,500 during its initial run) landed on my doorstep, I looked over the rules and decided that these bugs didn't look so tough. The models were gorgeously gnarly horrors, of course, but in terms of stats, they seemed manageable. Most only moved a single space at a time and dealt one damage per round, for example. Because every Helldiver won't succumb to the sweet embrace of death until they take three wounds, I wasn't worried about completing our objective of destroying five nests within the 10-round time limit.
I should have been. Those bugs don't look tough at first glance, but they're inexorable. Terminator-esque, even. They'll always move towards the nearest Helldiver and hit them automatically when in range, and they rarely operate solo. Thanks to a clever initiative system where you can never be sure who'll get to act when, you could also get rushed before you can utter the word "liberty." Let's say you've left yourself in enemy territory, perhaps to squish a nest or investigate one of the many Points of Interest that earn you bonuses. If a collection of Terminids go first, they'll probably going to pile on fast... leaving nothing but an embarrassed silence in their wake. Suddenly, your troops feel very squishy indeed.
I was able to talk with the designers of Helldivers 2: The Board Game a little while back, and they promised to honor "the cooperative chaos of the video game."
I might have known better. This spin on Helldivers comes courtesy of the folks over at Steamforged Games, and I've long had my ass kicked by their thoroughly enjoyable adaptations like Monster Hunter World: The Board Game – Wildspire Waste. While Helldivers 2 isn't a boss-battler like many other Steamforged products, it takes similar care with its enemies. The Terminids in my demo were not to be ignored, and the variety on offer meant I had to keep adapting my approach. As a case in point, the winged Shriekers can cross a huge distance in one turn, can't be hit with grenades, and avoid your best roll when attacked for the first time. Combine that with Stalkers who are cloaked a lot of the time or Hive Guard who hurt you if you leave their space to get a whole world of pain.
Rapid-fire serotonin boosts
Teamwork and coordination is of paramount importance as a result. If you go off to do your own thing, you'll become mincemeat in short order. I made that mistake early on, and it meant I approached my second session very differently. This is where the game's strategy became apparent – and I started to see how clever this supposedly brash, in-your-face shooter actually was.
Rather than having a set number of actions you can take per turn, you'll choose a card with a unique array of abilities that go into the initiative order. When it's your turn, you'll choose one or more of those abilities (move a space, fire your primary weapon, use a stratagem, that sort of thing). Some of these allow you to take advantage of Massed Fire, which means other players in range of your target can also fire. However, this will use up some or all of your five ammo counters, causing you to use up a precious turn reloading. Seeing as you only have one action and a bonus action for moving or utilizing consumables like health packs, it's easy to leave yourself vulnerable.
It's not as grim as it sounds, though, and the odds aren't totally stacked against you. This isn't a campaign game, and that means you don't have to wait for upgrades. Killing foes earns you medals, and these unlock extra abilities or stratagems – taken direct from the video game and activated by putting your limited stratagem cubes over directional arrows – that may turn the tide. Because Helldivers 2: The Board Game is designed for rapid, one-off matches, you'll get all those serotonin boosts quickly.
Honestly, you'll need them. Death is cheap here, and you will die often… only to be brought back to die again in service of Super Earth. The result is a frantic, funny, and memorable romp through the galaxy. Because more enemy types and factions have been promised for the final game, I can only assume absolute carnage will ensue.
Count me the hell in.
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