For somebody who’s posted a grand total of 13 times in five months, Greer has a ridiculous amount of followers.
So far, the two links that the former bad-ass have posted are to the Food & Wine website (which features ‘Pam Grier’s Chardonnay-Steamed Mussels’), and a YouTube video of chef Anthony Bourdain, who gives Grier a name drop. Must try harder.
Typical Tweets: “Just finished my memoir which is to be released on April 1, 2010 by Grand Central Publishing!! Stay tuned for more details and excerpts!!!”
“If any friends have a few dollars, igloo dog houses, rugs, clean towels, blankets, please send them to PAALS, a tax credit is given.”
Next: Updates [page-break]
Tweeting several times a day, Piven keeps it real with cracks about global warming, ‘the biz’ and meeting other celebs (“Shaq just picked me up like a sack of potatoes...”), as well as a few sneaky teasers about Entourage .
Naturally, Tweeting about yourself involves a certain degree of narcissism. But, seriously, there’s a limit.
Warring with lovers, ex-lovers and even dear old dad, Lindsay isn’t afraid to air her dirty laundry in public – in fact, it’s her preferred method of cleaning.
Take the below Tweet... Lindsay, love, make a decent film and we might actually start caring again.
Typical Tweet: “Umm-OMFG! I was walking ahead of Patrick with the security guard&some guy was following me, then pulled up in his car&pointed a GUN at me!”
“I screamed and ducked. The guy started laughing and pushed the trigger. It was a fake gun. I was crying. He scared me.”
Next: Frequency of Updates [page-break]
Frequency of Updates
Tough call, here. Plenty of slebs update their Twitters in five-minute spurts. But it’s the quality that counts, and Ed Norton (always a TF fave) is nothing if not a purveyor of quality over quantity.
Keeping us informed of his charity work (so far he’s raised $1m by running the NY marathon in support of Kenya’s Maasai tribe), television appearances, competitions and the requisite intriguing links (he’s a fan of optical illusions), Norton’s also not above a few fan shout-outs.
Only two tweets in four months – characteristically distant for the so-called manic pixie dream girl. Nothing about (500) Days , nor her unproduced script Circus Girl , nor her fan-love for Parker Posey.
Not even a few random pixie dream girl ponderings to light up our dreary, wintry computer screens. Campaign Get Zooey Back On Twitter starts here.
Typical Tweets: “I hemmed. I hawed. I joined twitter. Alas. Reason? I saw "The Cove" this weekend and it blew my mind. Everyone should see this movie. -zd”
“happy thanksgiving! may I recommend this excellent book on intuition as a delightful holiday read: www.tinyurl.com/LauraDayWidget - zooey d”
Next: Twitpics [page-break]
This pic says it all. Sharing the love, Favreau’s always been the Nice Guy In Hollywood, and his general joviality extends to Tweeting self-taken pics as well.
Stretching the limits of the definition ‘movie star’ here, but Hilton’s definitely had a fair crack at the movie thing (movies are /so hot/, especially when they’re in night vision).
Tweeting a series of pictures that involve Hilton draping herself across various objects/landscapes (A plane! A monkey! My dog!), each pic is even more narcissistic than the last.
This Twitter account comes with a severe warning: Logging on too much could turn you blind.
Next: Funnies [page-break]
A graduate of the Snarky School of Whedon, it’s no surprise that Fillion is a Twit with a wit. Frankly, this guy has charm coming out of his bottom, and he’s happy to share it all with his legion of followers.
Following Kirstie is sort of like acquiring an (unwanted, downright scary) insight into the kooky mental workings of your giddy Aunt Nora.
Obscenely perky, Kirstie’s apparently under the impression that her followers are actual, uh, followers - yes, welcome to the Cult of Kirstie. Cue life-bolstering messages issued with all the preachiness of a gospel sermon, but without the joyful hand-clapping (one can only assume).
Is she even trying to be funny? We can’t really tell...
Typical Tweets: “PEOPLE PEOPLE PEOPLE...I am NOT Jonny boy's PIMP...I am simply his lover..he doesn't do tricks at the snap of my fingers....it takes CANDY”
“GOOD MORNING KNIGHTS OF THE UNIVERSE..just want to remind us that we really ARE fearless and GOODNESS DOES win out over evil..SO PERSEVERE!!”
“Have a SUPER day and GO TO THE MOVIES..so many fun ones out now..I'm going to go see OLD DOGS...me loves my Jonny T....stay warm!”
Next: Set Gossip [page-break]
Yep, Fav is fave again. We just can’t get enough of the guy.
He’s one of Hollywood’s hottest properties right now thanks to Iron Man and its impending sequel, so it’s even more endearing that The Fav makes sure the fans are along for the ride every step of the way – and he’s as enthusiastic as any other true sun-phobic geek.
She may be 24-years-old, but Ashley’s Tweets are pure bubblegum and potpourri. Sterilised to within an inch of their life, Ashley’s updates consist either of bragging about gym attendance, or dinner with “Zachary” (we’re assuming that’s Mr Efron).
Which is all fair enough. But Tweets about filming TV series Phineas and Ferb et al are given only a cursory mention. Perhaps she senses we’re not really all that interested...
Typical Tweets: “Recording phineas and ferb. Then off to the "This Is It" premiere, soo excited to see it!”
“Loves that its raining right now! Off to rehearsal with the crew. Can't wait to get home and watch a movie next to the fireplace :)”
“Recording Family Guy....then Gym!!!”
Next: Fan Rapport [page-break]
Instead of making movies, Demi Moore has established herself as veritable Queen of the Tweeterdome.
Almost entirely cutting out the need for press interviews (to be honest, she ain’t promoting much these days), Moore is, ahem, more than happy to respond to fan questions, no matter how ridiculous.
The old fella has a go, but really he comes off as precisely as curt and protracted as his most famous character, just minus the charisma. Replies to fans are generally brief and cursory. Sort of like if your granddad started Twittering. Or the Queen.
Somehow when Shatner says ‘friends’, it sounds ridiculously sinister. Still, at least he acknowledges their existence, which has to count for something...
Typical Tweets: “@steffri Thank you for the kind words of praise. My best, Bill”
“Please read the statement released today by my production company: http://www.williamshatner.c... My best, Bill”
“Friends, Seaon 2 of Raw Nerve Debuts on December 6. See the press release on my site. My best, Bill”
Next: Non-Tweeters [page-break]
Famous chatterbox Monsieur Tarantino isn’t registered (those 140 characters just aren’t sufficient enough for a single thought) but we’d love to see him tackle the little box.
After all, good Tweet of mouth is considered largely responsible for Inglourious Basterds ’ cinematic success, despite what the critics had to say. Get thee on Twitter, pronto! Or, at the very least, Facebook...
Do we really want to hear about Ms Zellweger's latest weight-loss/weight-gain programme? To be frank, even if she did don the granny knickers again for a third Bridget Jones's Diary , we'd be hard pressed to follow any Tweets on the subject.
Stick to the glossies, dear, Twitter isn't for you.
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