Skip to main content
GamesRadar+ GamesRadar+ GamesRadar+ The Games, Movies, TV & Comics You Love
Sign in
  • View Profile
  • Sign out
flag of UK
UK
flag of US
US
flag of Canada
Canada
flag of Australia
Australia
  • Games
  • TV
  • Movies
  • Hardware
  • Video
  • News
  • Reviews
  • Guides
  • Deals
  • More
    • PS5
    • Xbox Series X
    • Nintendo Switch
    • Nintendo Switch 2
    • PC
    • Platforms
    • Tabletop Gaming
    • Comics
    • Toys & Collectibles
    • SFX
    • Newsarama
    • Retro Gamer
    • Newsletters
    • About us
    • Features
Total Film
Gaming Magazines
Gaming Magazines
Why subscribe?
  • Subscribe from just £3
  • Takes you closer to the games, movies and TV you love
  • Try a single issue or save on a subscription
  • Issues delivered straight to your door or device
From$12
View
Trending
  • Prime Day Deals
  • Superman
  • Donkey Kong Bananza
  • Switch 2 stock
Recommended reading
Princess Peach on bike with Mario and Bowser on track in backdrop.
Super Mario Mario Kart World recast Princess Peach, but Nintendo apparently only told her actor of 17 years yesterday: "I truly would have wanted to voice Peach and Toad forever"
Super Mario RPG Remake
Super Mario Nintendo tracks Super Mario friendships on official web page that reveals Pauline is an outcast, Waluigi is controversial, and Mario canonically doesn't like you
Resident Evil Village
Games The 25 best video game villains you just love to hate
Mario Kart World screenshot showing luigi in smart racing gear sliding around a corner
Super Mario Mario Kart World's new outfits include pirate Wario and Pauline in a latex suit, which people are predictably being normal about
Screenshot from Mario Kart World's reveal trailer showing a Moo Moo Meadows cow on a bike.
Super Mario After Animal Crossing: New Horizons, Mario Kart World is the latest Nintendo game to feature cannibalism because, yes, the cow happily chomps down beef burgers
King K Rool
Donkey Kong Donkey Kong Bananza is the perfect time to bring back an AWOL villain, and I'm already uncovering conspiracies that say our favorite crocodile will turn up
Donkey Kong sat on a boardwalk, raising a single finger with his back to the camera.
Donkey Kong New $35 Donkey Kong cushion also comes with what fans are calling a "banana hole", but I don't think people are going to use the 15-inch plush in the way Nintendo intends
  1. Games

Why Princess Peach should be IMPEACHED

Features
By Hollander Cooper published 4 November 2012

Let her eat super mushrooms

When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission. Here’s how it works.

Impeach Peach!

Impeach Peach!

As weve discussed in the past, the Mushroom Kingdom is a pretty messed up place as it is. Crime is out of control, people are being stomped on in the streets, and the economy is an absolute catastrophe. But while the current royal staff would blame the previous administration's shoddy work, we dont believe its responsible to pass the blame. No, we believe that Princess Peach should take responsibility for her actions--and be tossed right out of the Kingdom.

We're not going to speak in generalities, either. No--we have specific, definitive reasons to blame "Princess" Peach for the way the world is, and once you read them, we've a feeling you'll agree. We simply can not afford for the next 25 years in the Mushroom Kingdom to be as bad as the last 25.

Page 1 of 10
Page 1 of 10
She spends most of her time vacationing and/or being kidnapped

She spends most of her time vacationing and/or being kidnapped

A good leader should spend her time sitting on a throne and actually leading. Where does Peach spend her days? Either she's off vacationing or locked away in some cell in Bowsers castle. How can she be expected to lead when she can't stay in her own kingdom for more than 10 minutes at a time? Where was she the day after the Mushroom Kingdom was attacked by a group of angry Shyguys? Attending a fundraiser and playing soccer. How unpatriotic.

Page 2 of 10
Page 2 of 10
She refuses to beef up the kingdom's security

She refuses to beef up the kingdom's security

Few would argue that the Mushroom Kingdom's security force is utterly lacking. Instead of a true army, they have a handful of Toads with spears and Mario, a mustachioed plumber from a far away land we know nothing about. How is that security? It's not enough to stop Bowser's weekly invasions. It's not enough to stop alien attacks. It's not enough to stop the Princess from being kidnapped nearly every other day. We need a real army, and more spending on our military. Let's stop tossing our hard-earned gold coins towards social programs that promote Toad lethargy, and let's put them to work defending their neighbors.

Page 3 of 10
Page 3 of 10
Drugs are all over the streets--literally

Drugs are all over the streets--literally

Peach has done very little to combat a threat as real as the Goombas currently invading our land: drugs. This kingdom was built on a certain moral fiber that's been tarnished by a massive influx of Super Mushrooms, Poison Mushrooms, and... well, a lot of mushrooms... and more are "enjoying" the "benefits" of these "power-ups" that currently bounce around our brick-paved roads. What does our great leader do about this pandemic? Well, last we checked, she enjoyed them as well, powering up whenever she felt down. For shame, Ms. Princess--for shame.

Page 4 of 10
Page 4 of 10
She does nothing to combat the immigration issues

She does nothing to combat the immigration issues

Every day, more and more Koopas and Goombas find their way across our unprotected borders (bringing Poison Mushrooms with them, no doubt). Some join our society legally and become members of our great kingdom, while others enjoy all of our great amenities without giving anything back. Our leader does nothing to quell this influx, and, instead, simply waits until it gets out of control before sending Mario to stomp the problem away. A good leader would prevent the issue before it even starts, instead of allowing it to get out out of hand before sending in a death squad. We need real immigration reform now... or a big freaking wall. Either works.

Page 5 of 10
Page 5 of 10
She hasn't made any attempts to continue the royal bloodline

She hasn't made any attempts to continue the royal bloodline

The King is gone, and the Princess has no heirs--that means that if anything were to happen, the bloodline would simply fizzle out. And, of course, our Princess has made no attempts to solve this issue by marrying or by mothering a child. Why is this? Is it because of a deep-seated fear that, if the Kingdom didn't need her, they wouldn't put so much money into continuing to rescue her from her malefactors? It's irresponsible. If she isnt interested in continuing the bloodline for royaltys sake she at least needs to name a successor better than Toadsworth. Seriously, screw that guy.

Page 6 of 10
Page 6 of 10
Her relationship with the plumber Mario is unclear

Her relationship with the plumber Mario is unclear

It's not as though Peach doesn't have any suitors, either. Mario, the Kingdom's only real protector, spends most of his time following around the princess, eager for her to bake him a cake. She's taken him on vacations around the world, and even invites him to her regular sports sessions--and yet, as far as we know, that's where their platonic relationship ends. We deserve to know if they're really together--and if they aren't, she might want to spend less time with him, and more time wooing a suitor.

Page 7 of 10
Page 7 of 10
Her relationship with the evil king Bowser is also unclear

Her relationship with the evil king Bowser is also unclear

For as confusing as her relations with Mario are, we're more concerned with how much time Peach spends with Bowser. He continues to kidnap her, and yet she invites him to play golf and basketball. Why, if he is such a great enemy, does she spend so much time with him? Is it because she fathered his child? Is it because he has some dirt on her? This information needs to be made public.

Page 8 of 10
Page 8 of 10
She lacks the virtues of a real leader

She lacks the virtues of a real leader

Peach has never, not even once, shown any of the qualities a real leader should show. In Super Princess Peach she showed that she ruled by emotion, and thats no way to lead a people. She has never made a decision for the good of the people, and she has never done anything to help the Mushroom Kingdom grow. If anything, she's more of a liability, and the kingdom deserves more than that from its Princess.

Page 9 of 10
Page 9 of 10
Daisy 2012

Daisy 2012

Its because of these issues that we believe Princess Daisy to be the natural replacement. Do you agree? If so, let us know in the comments below--otherwise let us know who you think should take over the Mushroom Kingdom, because Peach obviously has to go.

And if you're looking for more mildly-political (but still funny, we promise) articles, check out who your favorite game characters are voting for and (the slightly less funny) an article on where politicians stand on gaming.

Page 10 of 10
Page 10 of 10
CATEGORIES
Wii-u Nintendo Platforms
Hollander Cooper
Hollander Cooper
Social Links Navigation

Hollander Cooper was the Lead Features Editor of GamesRadar+ between 2011 and 2014. After that lengthy stint managing GR's editorial calendar he moved behind the curtain and into the video game industry itself, working as social media manager for EA and as a communications lead at Riot Games. Hollander is currently stationed at Apple as an organic social lead for the App Store and Apple Arcade. 

See more Games Features
Read more
Princess Peach on bike with Mario and Bowser on track in backdrop.
Mario Kart World recast Princess Peach, but Nintendo apparently only told her actor of 17 years yesterday: "I truly would have wanted to voice Peach and Toad forever"
Super Mario RPG Remake
Nintendo tracks Super Mario friendships on official web page that reveals Pauline is an outcast, Waluigi is controversial, and Mario canonically doesn't like you
Resident Evil Village
The 25 best video game villains you just love to hate
Mario Kart World screenshot showing luigi in smart racing gear sliding around a corner
Mario Kart World's new outfits include pirate Wario and Pauline in a latex suit, which people are predictably being normal about
Screenshot from Mario Kart World's reveal trailer showing a Moo Moo Meadows cow on a bike.
After Animal Crossing: New Horizons, Mario Kart World is the latest Nintendo game to feature cannibalism because, yes, the cow happily chomps down beef burgers
King K Rool
Donkey Kong Bananza is the perfect time to bring back an AWOL villain, and I'm already uncovering conspiracies that say our favorite crocodile will turn up
Latest in Games
Death Stranding 2 prologue Sam standing on a mountain with lou strapped to his chest
I thought Kojima filmed Death Stranding 2's opening sequence in my Arizona backyard, and now that people are confusing pictures of a real-life desert for screenshots, I know I haven't lost my marbles
A screenshot shows Ghost of Yotei protagonist wielding a bow and arrow
Reducing the "burden" of open-world games, Ghost of Yotei replaces Ghost of Tsushima’s journal menu with a "wolf pack" of important characters that meet you under the stars: "The game comes to you"
Ghost of Yotei
Sucker Punch says "the best way to play" Ghost of Yotei is to "find something interesting on the horizon and enjoy the ride," and thankfully since Breath of the Wild that's the only way I play open-world games
Ghost of Yotei mask in bloodied snow
Ghost of Yotei "isn't going to rush you through anything" and "focuses on player freedom more than any game Sucker Punch has ever made," with clues and activities for all play styles
Moonbreaker
Subnautica 2 publisher says the studio's previous game was a "failure" – a strategy game that's nothing like Subnautica and peaked at under 1,000 Steam players
Screenshot from Final Fantasy 14's new graphics update, showing a character in an action pose.
Former Square Enix exec says the developer "has spent two decades slowly moving away from being a content business" after accidentally predicting the rise of AI: "But the sun set on their opportunity to transition"
Latest in Features
The Sims 4 Enchanted by Nature
After 16 years of The Sims 3, The Sims 4 Enchanted by Nature might just be the whimsical expansion pack that pulls me away from EA's iconic 2009 life sim for good
Red Dead Redemption 2 screenshot of Arthur Morgan who has shoulder length hair and a beard and wears a cowboy hat
After 4 years I returned to Red Dead Redemption 2 and fell into a chaotic rodeo of mishaps as I tried to remember how to be Arthur Morgan
Superman kisses Lois Lane in James Gunn's Superman
After years of loveless Marvel and DC movies, I hope Superman and Fantastic Four prove romantic relationships are just as important as world-saving spectacle when it comes to superhero flicks
The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom gameplay running with the Switch 2 upgrade
I wanted to make a beeline for Tears of the Kingdom's ending, but Zelda's Switch 2 upgrade has forced me to slow down
Death Stranding 2 Sam touching Lou and Fragile
Death Stranding 2's final fight is Hideo Kojima's way of saying goodbye to Metal Gear Solid
Heroes 3 screenshot
The greatest strategy RPG ever is making a comeback with the publisher behind Manor Lords, and I'm ready to relive my Behemoth-collecting 2000s
  1. A Gundam style mech in Mecha Break
    1
    Mecha Break review: "This mech battler makes up for lacking customization with a varied roster that lets me live out my Evangelion fantasy"
  2. 2
    Death Stranding 2: On the Beach review: "This tarpunk delivery epic is more Metal Gear Solid than ever, for better and worse"
  3. 3
    Rematch review: "As with Rocket League, the just-one-more-game pull is magnetic"
  4. 4
    Tron: Catalyst review: "Disc slinging is a thrill in this gorgeous rendition of the series, but I'm let down by a time-loop story that falls flat"
  5. 5
    FBC: Firebreak review: "A disappointingly bland multiplayer FPS that's missing far too much of what made Control special"
  1. David Corenswet as Superman inside the Fortress of Solitude in James Gunn's Superman.
    1
    Superman review: "A triumphant reinvention and a promising start for the DCU"
  2. 2
    Jurassic World Rebirth Review: "An unscary sequel that needed a little more time in amber"
  3. 3
    M3GAN 2.0 review: "A bold sequel with a slightly underwhelming conclusion"
  4. 4
    28 Years Later Review: "Enough terror, splatter and suspense to satisfy”
  5. 5
    Predator: Killer of Killers review: "Great characters, thrilling action, and gorgeous Arcane-esque animation"
  1. Lee Jung-jae as Gi-hun in Squid Game season 3
    1
    Squid Game season 3 review: "A staggeringly excellent final season wraps up one of the greatest Netflix shows ever"
  2. 2
    Ironheart review: "A relic of Marvel's content-at-all-costs era"
  3. 3
    Star Trek: Strange New Worlds season 3 review: "The show's most assured run of episodes to date"
  4. 4
    Doctor Who season 2, episode 8 spoiler review: 'The Reality War' is "a mix of the good, the bad, and the truly baffling"
  5. 5
    Doctor Who season 2, episode 7 spoiler review: 'Wish World' is "an exciting and ambitious" start to the season finale, with hints of WandaVision

GamesRadar+ is part of Future US Inc, an international media group and leading digital publisher. Visit our corporate site.

  • About Us
  • Contact Future's experts
  • Terms and conditions
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies policy
  • Advertise with us
  • Review guidelines
  • Write for us
  • Accessibility Statement
  • Careers

© Future US, Inc. Full 7th Floor, 130 West 42nd Street, New York, NY 10036.

Please login or signup to comment

Please wait...