GoldenEye 007
If you want to aim your gun properly in GoldenEye, you have to stop and hold the aim button, then move the reticule around with the analog stick. I suppose you don't see James Bond making ultra-precise shots while running around, but as a game it's quite the problem brought on, of course, by the lack of a second stick.
Street Fighter (arcade deluxe cabinet)
This is actually rather wonderful. The deluxe arcade cabinet of the very first Street Fighter features two pressure-sensitive pads. If you tap the punch pad lightly, you get a light punch. A bit harder and you get a medium punch. Give it a full whack and you get a heavy punch. Same for kicks.
Tomb Raider (Saturn/PSone)
Let me get this straight: I like the control scheme of the first Tomb Raider. It's precise, solid, dependable, and versatile enough to let you do what you want to do. But it's also bonkers. Up moves Lara forwards, yes. But only in relation to where she's facing, like a tank. Left and right rotate her, but you can take a side-step with X or Z. Y activated free-look, A jumps, B fires your gun, but only if you've got it out with C, otherwise it's a general 'action' button. You can roll to face the other way with R, and walk by holding L, which means you can't fall off a ledge.
G-Police (PSone)
The 11th commandment should have been 'Thou shalt not assign nose up/down to the d-pad in G-Police'. It just doesn't make sense in the traditional flight sim way because actually moving higher and lower is mapped to the left shoulder buttons. Put it this way: I don't think real future police are likely to spend significant time looking at the floor when they're engaging hostile craft in the city's airspace.
System Shock (PC)
System Shock has mouse support, which is rare for a first-person game of its age. Does it let you use it for free look? Of course it doesn't! It lets you use it for the menus instead, which includes on-screen arrows to move. But you can use the keyboard, stopping to use the mouse for menus.
OutTrigger (Dreamcast)
There's nothing wrong with OutTrigger as a game. It's like an arcade version of a first-person shooter, which is a cool idea. Someone else should have a go at that. But the controls? Sweet Jeebus, the controls are dreadful. It gives you several different options for control configurations, and only one of them kind-of works. It's the lack of a second stick that kills it.
Jet Force Gemini (N64/XBO)
As if proof were needed that Jet Force Gemini's controls make no sense at all, Rare Replay was patched specifically to fix them. Rare described the update with the words: 'brings modern controls to Jet Force Gemini'. No kidding. Admittedly, an Xbox one controller is not the same as an N64 pad, but mapping jump to the right analog stick is clearly madness, no matter how close it is to being authentic.
Olympic Soccer (Saturn/PSone)
This football game on PS1 and Saturn is a mess in most senses. The painted lines hover a few centimeters above the surface of the pitch, the frame-rate is dreadful, and commentator Alan Green likes to shout 'WHACK' when you kick the ball hard, which is most of the time. But control-wise, it is actually very clever. Bonkers, but clever.
