Skip to main content

The Top 7… Games you don't want for Christmas 2009

A movie is almost never as good as the book. Expectations sink further when it comes to games based on movies based on books. But this year, we saw the release of a trivia game based on a movie that was based on a bad book series. Thanks to the tireless work of the soulless merchandising machine, Twilight fans can now test their knowledge of the 2008 film. Can you answer any of these questions?

- What kind of sandwich does Bella have in the cafe with Charlie?
- What is the name of Bella's stepfather?
- Who the hell is Bella?

If you answered any of these queries without the help of google, we kind of hate you. In fact, we change our mind and hope that you get this horrible faux game for Christmas. With any luck, it’ll keep you busy at home - and away from us.

Above: Eat your glittery hearts out. No really, do it now

What you should do if you got this for Christmas: If you got this for Christmas, it’s probably because you already liked the Twilight series in the first place. This means that you have bigger problems to deal with. So just enjoy Twilight Scene It with your friends and family. Start a blog so you’ll have a place to publish that fan fiction novella you’ve been working on. Make sure you save the packaging for the special deluxe DVD edition and place it with pride next to your poster of Edward. Also, practice controlled breathing so you stop wasting all the oxygen.

1. Call of Duty: Modern Warfare Reflex Edition

GamesRadar awarded Modern Warfare Reflex a seven-out-of-ten, which is technically good. But halfhearted praise for a high profile shooter like this is always doled out with the unspoken understanding that it’s only good for a Wii game. But we know you don’t live it a vacuum. Even if you don’t own any current-gen consoles besides a Wii, you already know that Reflex Edition can’t hold a candle to the proper versions of Modern Warfare or Modern Warfare 2. Grainy cutscenes with in-game footage from the real versions are painful to watch - especially when compared to the in-game graphics in the undeniably inferior Wii version moments later. But that’s not as bad as the all around mediocre experience this sad shooter offers.

Above: Who wants the inferior version of a great game from two years ago?

What you should do if you got this for Christmas: Aside from Metroid, we have yet to play a truly satisfying first-person shooter on the Wii. But Dead Space Extraction should be on your mind if exchanging Reflex Edition is an option. It’s not amazing, but Dead Space Extraction is great (for a rail shooter on the Wii, of course).

Above: Oscar the Grouch offers more reasons to hate Christmas

Merry Christmas.

Dec 21, 2009

Modern Warfare 2 - Super Review
Modern Warfare makes a heroic return. Read our definitive review

Left 4 Dead 2 - Super Review
Bigger, faster, nastier - this is the apocalypse to beat

Batman: Arkham Asylum - Super Review
Gotham is the new Rapture