Jackass 3D (2010)
The Scene: “I’m not scared of poo poo,” says Britney Spears as she embarks on a portaloo prank called the ‘Poo Cocktail Supreme’.
Why It Was Cut: According to Knoxville, this prank was removed “for time”.
In reality, it’s a parody of a deleted scene – it’s not from Jackass 3D at all, but created as a publicity stunt.
Worth it for the chance to hear Spears saying “poo poo”, though.
Phone Booth (2002)
The Scene: Bad. Like crazy bad, as a leather-jacket-wearing Jared Leto meets an American-accented Colin Farrell in an alleyway.
Get your minds out of the gutter. All they do is talk. And Leto flips his hair a lot.
Why It Was Cut: According to Jared Leto, because it was “too funny”.
Somehow we don’t believe him.
Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008)
The Scene: “You don’t really need any adjusting, so I’ll just do this for myself,” says Kristen Wiig’s yoga instructor as she man-handles Aldous Snow (Russell Brand) during a class.
Jason Segel’s contribution? “I’m doing a head-stand, motherfucker!”
Why It Was Cut: Did we really need more Russell Brand in this movie?
Jay And Silent Bob Strike Back (2001)
The Scene: “You got 50 bucks we can get nasty,” a bob-haired prostitute tells Jay (Jason Mewes) and Silent Bob (Kevin Smith).
Jay tells her how nasty he wants to get. Her reply? “Oh that’s it, honey, I quit. This job just passed the point of no return…”
Why It Was Cut: Could it be that Kevin Smith actually found something was so gross even he couldn’t stand it?
Star Wars: Episode III Revenge Of The Sith (2003)
The Scene: Obi Wan (Ewan McGregor) and Anakin (Hayden Christensen) encounter General Grievous, who has a strange, never-before-seen Jedi held captive.
Grievous than spits “Stinking Jedi” and kills her.
Why It Was Cut: Well, we’ve never seen this Jedi before, nor even heard her mentioned, which means there’s basically no emotional impact to the scene whatsoever. Also, Obi Wan and Anakin don’t even seem to care she dies.
Even more ridiculously, the Jedis then communication their plan for escape to each other by, er, rubbing their faces…
Step Brothers (2008)
The Scene : “If you’re gonna make it through this man, you’re gonna need big balls!” rages Randy (Rob Riggle). “I’m talking hairy, thick, veiny, robust balls!”
This is basically a five minute scene of Riggle yelling at Will Ferrell, who looks increasingly desperate/scared.
Why It Was Cut: Though funny, it’s pretty long.
We’ll file this one under ‘pace killer’.
Lord Of The Rings: The Return Of The King (2003)
The Scene: Gimli (John Rhys-Davies) and Legolas (Orlando Bloom) hold their own drinking competition during a rare moment of down time.
Only Gimli didn’t count on Legolas being able to pack away quite so many pints…
Why It Was Cut: The same reason a whole host of scenes were cut from The Return Of The King for its theatrical release – the film simply got too long.
Also, we got to see this pair’s competitiveness explored just as well during the battle of Helm’s Deep in The Two Towers.
Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix (2007)
The Scene: Professor Trelawney (Emma Thompson) sits eating and drinking as the newly-appointed Professor Umbridge (Imelda Staunton) addresses the rest of the school.
It gets weirder as the scene unfolds, with Trelawney spooning white stuff onto the table, tipping food onto her lap and generally making a right mess of things.
Why It Was Cut: As entertaining as Thompson is, this scene was edited to focus more on Umbridge – which is where the narrative impetus really lies.
This Is 40 (2013)
The Scene: Jason (Jason Segel) and Ronnie (Chris O’Dowd) hang on every word that Desi (Megan Fox) says, mostly because they want to get in her pants.
Which seems unlikely when she starts equating star signs to, um, sausage size…
Why It Was Cut: It doesn’t exactly add anything to the plot, does it?
Plus, isn’t this meant to be Paul Rudd and Leslie Mann’s movie?
Austin Powers In Goldmember (2002)
The Scene: We discover that Austin Powers has always had a thing for walking around naked – not to mention an impressive beyond-his-years chest rug.
Why It Was Cut: It's all just a little bit too hairy, isn't it?
Hot Rod (2007)
The Scene: Rod (Andy Samberg) plays with his toys (it involves a soaring motorcycle and a dinosaur eating a robot) only for Kevin (Jorma Taccone) to interrupt.
Why It Was Cut: It very almost made it into the film (it got so far that it was used in the trailer), but we’re guessing it was just a little too crazy to make the cut.
Knocked Up (2007)
The Scene: “Who the fuck does Ang Lee think he is, man?” rants Jonah (Jonah Hill).
He’s talking to Alison (Katherine Heigl) about Brokeback Mountain . “What am I, six years old? I can’t see a guy getting sucked off by another guy?” Oh my…
Why It Was Cut: Though Jonah makes some surprisingly salient (albeit X-rated) points about Hollywood’s double standards when it comes to nudity, this convo doesn’t really have much to do with the film’s plot.
Still, it’s comedy gold.
The Scene: It’s crazy this deleted scene even got shot in the first place considering its raunchy content.
Crassus (Laurence Olivier) and Antoninus (Tony Curtis) take a bath together and discuss the difference between eating snails and oysters – a thinly veiled hint at gay sex.
Why It Was Cut: It was just a little too racy for the ‘60s.
High Fidelity (2000)
The Scene: It’s not so much the content of this one that’s crazy, but more the fact that it’s crazy it was cut from the film.
It’s one of the strongest scenes in the book, as Rob (John Cusack) goes to buy some records from a bitter housewife (Beverly D’Angelo).
Why It Was Cut: Probably because it was too much of a downer, as it offers a glimpse into a rather depressing future for Rob.
Shame, D’Angelo’s fantastic.
Boogie Nights (1997)
The Scene: Dirk (Mark Wahlberg) and co sit snorting coke and talking rubbish.
Why It Was Cut: Probably because simply watching it can make you feel cut.
It’s basically three minutes of snorting and shit-talking. We felt dirty just watching it.
The Scene: The backpackers encounter a Dutch hostel where the rainbow-haired clerk (Joanna Lumley) makes it sound like the kind of torture chamber you’d find in, well, Hostel .
Why It Was Cut: We’re guessing they didn’t have room for any more European craziness in the film – though they did make a place for it during the closing credits.
The Abyss (1989)
The Scene: Bud Brigman (Ed Harris) encounters an alien who’s been watching TV and learning just how evil the human race can be.
Cue massive tidal waves which bear down on various US cities, threatening mass genocide…
Why It Was Cut: It was edited back into the director’s cut, but back at the time of the film’s release this alternate ending (and the various scenes related to it that were also excised) would have made the film three hours long.
Back in the ‘80s, that was almost unthinkable for a so-called summer action film.
Dumb & Dumber (1994)
The Scene: Lloyd (Jim Carrey) and Harry (Jeff Daniels) chill out in a romantic, heart-shaped bath tub.
Then Lloyd talks about potentially “splitting [Harry] like an old piece of firewood”…
Why It Was Cut : It was included on the unrated DVD, but not the original theatrical release.
Somebody clearly has something against hot tubs.
American Psycho (2000)
The Scene: “I have a promotion coming, I don’t want to get AIDS!”
Courtney (Samantha Mathis) berates Patrick (Christian Bale) for not putting a condom on properly. But she’s messed with the wrong guy as Patrick keeps going without her.
Why It Was Cut: Any scene in which two characters keep shouting the word “ejaculate” should’ve been left in, in our opinion.
Sadly, there must have been a limit to how many times Bale was allowed to have his shirt off in a scene. Hello, cutting room floor.
Home Alone (1990)
The Scene: Wet Bandits Harry (Joe Pesci) and Marv (Daniel Stern) sing their own thief-flavoured Christmas carol.
“You better watch out, you better not hide, if your doors are open we’re coming inside, Harry and Marv are coming to town…”
Why It Was Cut: We’re guessing Chris Columbus wasn’t a fan of the duo’s voices.
The Craft (1996)
The Scene: There’s nothing quite so crazy as a gothed-up Fairuza Balk screaming at the top of her lungs, and that’s what we get in this cut scene.
“I have saved you all from oblivion!” she rants, having discovered that the other girls are planning on casting a binding spell on her.
Why It Was Cut: It sort of goes against the end of the film, when Balk, Neve Campbell and that other one turn on Robin Tunney.
The Scene: Brucie heads to the gym and proceeds to bench-press the most weights any human ever has (we’re assuming).
Why It Was Cut: Well, it’s a repeat of the scene in which he bench presses in the basement with his son gradually adding more weights.
And, fittingly, that more personal scene carried more emotional weight than this more public demonstration of the character’s capabilities.
Donnie Darko (2001)
The Scene: A different take on the film’s ending, as Donnie’s (Jake Gyllenhaal) room is destroyed.
Except in this version, he’s impaled by his bed, and we’re forced to watch him shuddering and bloody, waiting to die.
Why It Was Cut: It’s a much more in-yer-face sort of ending and completely at odds with the more subdued, poetic ending that we eventually got.
Besides, we didn’t really need to see Donnie die, did we?
The Scene: A raucous extended version of the one-upmanship bitch-fight between Annie (Kristen Wiig) and a teenage customer.
It goes on. And on. And on. And still ends with that well-placed C-bomb.
Why It Was Cut: Though hilarious and equipped with some brilliantly catty put-downs, the scene’s just too long for an already-long film.
The Scene: A bizarre extension of the scene in which Lambert (Veronica Cartwright) is attacked and killed by the xenomorph.
When the alien whips its tail at her, it approaches on all fours like a crab. Eh?
Why It Was Cut: It made it painfully obvious that the xenomorph was just a really tall guy in a latex costume.
Without that sequence, the xenomorph’s rep as a truly terrifying star beast remains intact.
The Iron Giant (1999)
The Scene: “Do androids dream of electric sheep?” Philip K. Dick once asked.
We get sort of an answer in this deleted scene from The Iron Giant , in which the titular tin can has a fever dream of robots and explosions. And this isn’t even the finished animation – just think how awesome that would’ve been.
Why It Was Cut: Over to director Brad Bird: “It would’ve been a really cool piece of filmmaking. The film works fine without it; it just would’ve been a little bit better with it.”
We can’t help agreeing, so why didn’t it make the cut? It’s a mystery we’ve still not gotten to the bottom of…
Ace Ventura (1994)
The Scene: “You want to talk to the dolphin, you talk to me,” rants Ace Ventura (Jim Carrey) in a dodgy German accent.
He’s pretending to be the trainer of kidnapped dolphin Snowflake in order to hide the fact that Snowflake is missing.
Why It Was Cut: It’s all just a bit unnecessary; we don’t really need Ace to convince the news-teams of anything.
Plus Carrey’s funnier in other scenes.
Jacobs Ladder (1990)
The Scene: “Listen to me, it’s your own mind, it’s your own fears!”
Jacob (Tim Robbins) lies convulsing on the bed as it vibrates. Then cracks appear in the ceiling and blood drips through, covering his face…
Why It Was Cut: It sort of removes the argument that, to move on, Jacob has to let go of his past.
Still, awesome scene.
The Scene: “What is this? What is this? What is this?”
Borat (Sacha Baron Cohen) leads a supermarket worker on a merry tour of the cheese shelves, repeating the same question – and getting the same answer. For over two minutes.
Then he moves on to butter.
Why It Was Cut: We honestly have no idea – it had us in fits of giggles.
The Fly (1986)
The Scene: A distinctly icky-looking Seth (Jeff Goldblum) performs a gene splicing experiment using a baboon and a cat.
Who needs ethics, eh?
Why It Was Cut: It sort of ruins any empathy we have for this fallen hero, doesn’t it?
Not to mention gives us all sorts of scary ideas about splicing other animals…
The Scene: Yori (Cindy Morgan) takes Tron (Bruce Boxleitner) back to her pad where she changes into something rather racy.
That’s before she literally starts lighting up his circuits by running her hands down his body. “All the way…”
Why It Was Cut: Apparently director Steven Lisberger cut it because he felt it was too sentimental.
It’s also a bit too raunchy, if you ask us.
The Scene: Robbers with silly masks hit a bank, only to have their outfits critiqued by Amy Poehler’s clerk.
Why It Was Cut: An entire subplot was removed from McKay’s film involving a Symbionese Liberation Army-style band of bank robbers, and this was part of that subplot.
You can find it all in its full as short film Wake Up, Ron Burgundy on Anchorman ’s DVD.
This Is Spinal Tap (1984)
The Scene: In one of the many sliced and diced improvised scenes from Rob Reiner’s mock doc, this one’s a rough gem.
Chauffeur Bruno Kirby is invited to smoke marijuana with the band, engage in a little blow-back action with a groupie and then strip down to his pants.
Why It Was Cut: There was so much improvisational gold mined out of Spinal Tap that something had to go.
Sadly, this was one of those things.
The Scene: Bruno (Sacha Baron Cohen) discovers that the location for his interview with Pete Ross doesn’t have any furniture.
His solution? Use garden labourers as chairs instead. Well, Ross doesn’t seem to mind…
Why It Was Cut: We imagine Ross threatened to sue, though that’s not exactly anything new for Cohen.
Almost Famous (2000)
The Scene: A torturously long eight minute scene in which wannabe journo William (Patrick Fugit) makes his mother listen to the whole of ‘Stairway To Heaven’. Without talking once during the song.
Which, against all odds, makes her appreciate the power of rock.
Why It Was Cut: The official line is that director Cameron Crowe couldn’t get the rights to the song.
Really, though, who wants to sit through an eight minute scene in which nothing happens other than people listen to a song (as awesome as the song is)?
The Scene: Quint (Robert Shaw) goes into a fishing supplies shop where he discovers a young boy practising the clarinet.
Ever the music lover, Quint accompanies the boy with some increasingly loud (and annoying) “BA BA BA!” sounds.
You want crazy? Just look at those eyes…
Why It Was Cut: We kind of don’t need it, seeing as we’ve already figured out that Quint is a crotchety old goat.
A loveable crotchety old goat, but an old goat nonetheless.
Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)
The Scene: An alternate ending that has a prosthetics-slathered Linda Hamilton enjoying a shiny, happy future where the apocalypse has been averted and everything’s just peachy keen.
Why It Was Cut: If the sappy, overly-sentimental ending wasn’t enough in itself, the awful ‘future fashion’ of the extras would surely be enough to warrant the scene’s excision.
Bruce Almighty (2003)
The Scene: Using his new Godly powers, jealous news anchor Bruce (Jim Carrey) sets Evan (Steve Carell) on fire.
Because arson (and especially divine arson) is always funny.
Why It Was Cut: This one probably cut a little too close to the bone.
Making Evan speak gibberish = funny. Setting him on fire = lawsuit.
Lethal Weapon (1987)
The Scene: This one was reinstated for the director’s cut, but it’s crazy it was ever excised to begin with.
Riggs (Mel Gibson) shows he ain’t afraid of nothing when he goes after a sniper who’s taken over a playground.
Why It Was Cut: Presumably to keep the run time down, though it’s difficult to believe it was ever taken out – there’s some great mad Mel stuff in there.
Kill Bill Vol. 2 (2004)
The Scene: Frankly, it was crazy that this scene was cut at all, it’s that cool.
Bill (David Carradine) is challenged to a street duel by Michael Jai White.
And boy do they duel.
Why It Was Cut: According to the IMDb trivia page, the scene was cut due to pacing issues.
We’re still waiting for Tarantino’s long-promised complete Kill Bill cut (which would combine both films). Hopefully when that arrives, this will be reinstated.
The Scene: In an extended version of the ending we’ve all seen, Dante (Brian O'Halloran) is shot by an armed robber, and lies dead on the shop floor.
And… cue credits.
Why It Was Cut: It’s a massive downer, right?
That alt ending would also mess up the relatable charm of Kevin Smith’s debut – we don’t need a melodramatic ending to make Clerks memorable.
The Scene: Frank (Tom Cruise) gives his own singularly clever lecture on how to get a woman to fall for you.
It involves a story about a cat and lots of man tears. Which is nothing compared to the energetic knee thrusting that comes with the next tutorial.
Why It Was Cut: We genuinely have no idea – it’s hilarious.
Perhaps the filmmakers were concerned some guys would actually try this out on some innocent lady. Y’know, just to see if, as Frank says, “this shit works”.
The Scene: You know the one. Having taken in young Mathilda (Natalie Portman), Leon (Jean Reno) is put in an awkward position by the forthcoming youngster.
Why It Was Cut: It was deemed too risqué for mainstream audiences, especially given Portman’s young age.
In the final cut, the relationship is far more ambiguous and poignant.
Ghost Busters (1984)
The Scene: We all know Bill Murray has a reputation for being, shall we say, somewhat unconventional, but this scene takes the biscuit.
In a deleted park sequence, two homeless people played by Murray and Dan Aykroyd discuss Nicaragua, boxing and karate.
Why It Was Cut: It would’ve been too darn confusing, for starters. It’s obvious that the hobos are played by Murray and Aykroyd, which would’ve just had audiences scratching their heads.
Are Venkman and Stantz undercover? Do they have a pair of evil twins out there? Is somebody cloning Ghost Busters?
The Scene: In an alternate ending scene, evil vamp Frost (Stephen Dorff) transforms into a massive, bloody, globular monstrosity that just sort of swirls around.
Blade’s reaction? He merely waits for Frost to randomly absorb some vamp poison.
Why It Was Cut: It’s about as anti-climactic as you can get, especially after the kick-ass action of the first 90 minutes.
Then there’s the fact that the CGI is absolutely awful…
Terminator 3: Rise Of The Machines (2003)
The Scene: Military bods and Cyber Research Systems execs all sit down to watch a video about robot technology.
It explains that the new cyborgs are based on Chief Master Sergeant William Candy (Arnold Schwarzenegger), a decorated sergeant who sounds like an extra from Dukes Of Hazzard.
Why It Was Cut: It would have been the biggest continuity reveal ever, but also the worst.
Sure, the T-800 is sort of a joke (a robot that sounds like Arnie? C’mon), but he’s a joke on his own terms . This would’ve made him into an irredeemable laughing stock.
The Scene: One of the most famous on this list, and one that we can’t believe Will Smith actually agreed to shoot (so to speak).
Hancock (Will Smith) hooks up with a woman and they thrown down in a trailer. Except when he’s about to reach his, er, “mountaintop”, he throws her off and his, um, “emissions” put holes in the roof of the trailer.
Why It Was Cut: We imagine it was a rating’s board issue, though we’re sure Smith wanted to keep his good guy image at least somewhat intact.
Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988)
The Scene: When Eddie (Bob Hoskins) is shipped off to Toontown, this deleted scene shows him returning, only to find his face is now covered in some sort of terrifying cartoon pig mask.
Horrified, Eddie jumps into the shower with some turpentine, which he uses to flush the pig-face down the drain…
Why It Was Cut: No doubt Christopher Lloyd’s terrifying villain filled the ‘scare’ quota in Roger Rabbit , meaning this particularly grisly sequence just had to go.
The Goonies (1985)
The Scene: In the final act of this feel-good ‘80s classic, a monster octopus rises from the water to attack the Goonies as they escape the pirate’s ship.
Yes, A MONSTER OCTOPUS…
Why It Was Cut: Sure the footage is grainy, but let’s face it, it’s not the most convincing movie monster we’ve ever seen.
Seems Richard Donner felt the same.
Superman IV: The Quest For Peace (1987)
The Scene: Really bizarre ice-cream van music plays as Superman (Christopher Reeve) encounters a prototype Nuclear Man (Clive Mantle) created by Lex Luthor (Gene Hackman).
They throw each other around a bit, and there’s some horrendous product placement for a certain fast food joint.
Why It Was Cut: Well, it’s sort of just really embarrassing, isn’t it?