Batman Batman Begins (2005)
The Character: Bruce Wayne (Christian Bale), who lost his parents as a kid and decides to transform his fear of bats into something positive by becoming Batman.
The Beard: The result of Bruce travelling the world in order to learn more about bad guys, this one’s unruly but undeniably stylish.
Strokability: It looks a bit too coarse to be properly strokable.
Bodhi Point Break (1991)
The Character: Like, super-cool surferdude, philosopher, bank-robber and all-round chilled out dude.
The Beard: 1990s styling at its finest. Mega-hair plus trimmed beard = retro hawt.
Strokability: He's a pretty welcoming guy, so it's definitely not out of the question.
Wolverine - X2 (2003)
The Character: Everyone's favourite mutton-chop mutant, X-Man Wolvie's alway's sporting some impressive face fuzz.
The Beard: While he's bearded in every X-Movie, it's X2 where his sideburns threaten to takeover his face. Flufftastic.
Strokability: There's a hefty chance he'd slice your fingers off in the process, but definitely worth a tender stroke.
Harry - Harry & The Hendersons (1987)
The Character: Bigfoot. You know, Sasquatch. Called Harry.
The Beard: You could argue the beard is simply an affectation of his 99% body hair. But really, look at it - that's a proper 'he-chooses-to-grow-that-thing' beard right there.
Strokability: Wispy and surprisingly clean. Great for all your musing-related stroking needs.
Romulus Ledbetter The Cavemans Valentine (2001)
The Character: A paranoid schizophrenic who lives in a cave in a New York park. Cheery.
The Beard: That is some bushy bearding going on right there. Bravo Samuel L. Jackson. Nicely offset by the dreads.
Strokability: Looks like cotton wool. Definitely strokeable.
Obi-Wan Kenobi Star Wars (1977)
The Character: Jedi Master extraordinaire and all-round zen-type dude.
The Beard: Nicely off-set by his Jedi robes, it's as regal and serene as the man wielding the lightsaber behind it.
Strokability: Perfect for those times when you're imparting midi-chlorian wisdom to your fledgling jedis in training.
Less Grossman - Tropic Thunder (2008)
The Character: The slimiest, fattest, most conniving and vitriolic of studio bosses, as played very against-type by Tom Cruise.
The Beard: There's a reason his surname is Grossman. As sculpted and preposterous as the rest of him.
Strokability: Whether from the caustic words spitting from the mouth enveloping it, or just the bristly stubbliness of it all, you'd probably lose a finger if you got near it.
Willie T. Stokes - Bad Santa (2003)
The Character: Willie T. Stokes (Billy Bob Thornton) does what it says on the movie tin - as the eponymous Bad Santa he's anti-everything and everyone.
The Beard : Technically, he has two. The Santa one is big, fluffy and as fake as the rest of the shambolic act. The beard lying beneath is the epitome of bar-dwelling chic - silver and stubbly.
Strokability: The fake one, fluff-tastically nylon. The real one's little more than stubble. Either way, that's not a pleasurable experience.
Captain Haddock The Adventures of TinTin (2011)
The Character: A perma-drunk, perma-grumpy and perma-faithful friend of TinTin's. Also a boat Captain.
The Beard: A proper bushy fisherman's beard, grown from weeks at sea - or, more accurately in Haddock's case, grown from being so inebriated that it's in no-one's best interests to wave a razor near his face.
Strokability: While the snuggliness is undoubtedly high, the saltiness quotient is just as overwhelming. As a result, Haddock would enjoy stroking it more than you.
Bob Arctor - A Scanner Darkly (2006)
The Character: Reeves stars as undercover detective Bob Arctor/Fred/Bruce addicted to a mind-altering drug that breaks down the barriers between fact and fiction in this adaptation of a Philip K. Dick novel.
The Beard: Everyone knows Keanu can rock a pretty meaty beard (the 'Sad Keanu' meme is only accentuated by said face-fuzz). But in Richard Linklater's rotoscope animated sci-fi adaptation, it takes on a quality both cartoonish and straggly.
Strokability: Tufty at best, so a good stroke's a no go.