8 horrible Achievements only a madman would attempt

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Sometimes the gamerscore just isn't worth it

Done wrong though, they're excruciating, time-spapping, soul-destroying horrors which should not be attempted by persons possessing either balanced mental state or anything else to do whatsoever. The following eight could have been designed as forms of corporal punishment. Capital even.

Dead Rising

Above: Sleep deprivation will make you see things like this

Why it’s horrible: You have to stay alive for seven days of in-game time. Which is 14 hours in the real world. Oh, and you can’t save. Cue at least a day out of your life spent foraging, barricading and cowering. And with a constantly depleting health bar that needs topping up via food, you'll probably spend that time eating more in-game that you are in real life. Want to knowhow muchof a tactical micro-management nightmarethat is?This.Thisis how much.

Bomberman: Act Zero

Achievement: Battle 10, 000

Above: No

Why it’s horrible: You have to play 10, 000 battles in Bomberman: Act Zero. Just one minute of this awful game had been known to cause paranoid schizophrenia and self-harm.

Ridge Racer 6

Achievement: No crash victory: Single races

Above: That guy on theleft is about to ruin your life

Why it’s horrible: You have to win a race on every track with every car class. Without bumping into anyone or anything. Or being hit by anyone. With four classes and fifteen tracks, even over-achieving racing game aficionado Justin says that this one ‘sounds like a ball-ache’.

Quake 4

Achievement: Seasoned warrior

Above: Something like this should never become a chore

Why it’s horrible: You have to compete in 5000 ranked online matches. As a PC-loving Quake 3 snob, just one online Quake match with a joypad rather than a keyboard and mouse sounds as much fun as hammering a nail into a brick wall using my head.

Next: Trials, tribulations, and the horror of a really long war...

David Houghton
David Houghton
Long-time GR+ writer Dave has been gaming with immense dedication ever since he failed dismally at some '80s arcade racer on a childhood day at the seaside (due to being too small to reach the controls without help). These days he's an enigmatic blend of beard-stroking narrative discussion and hard-hitting Psycho Crushers.