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  1. Entertainment
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50 Worst Movie Taglines

Features
By Simon Kinnear published 23 July 2012

Soundbites of sorrow

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Charlie St Cloud (2010)

The Tagline: Life is for living.

Why It's Terrible: There ought to be a list in Hollywood of banned taglines, and this ultra-banal, ultra-generic nonsense should be top of the list.

What They Should Have Done: Life got more interesting after he died.

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Hombre (1967)

The Tagline: Hombre means man... Paul Newman is Hombre.

Why It's Terrible: In other words, Paul Newman is a man. Gee, thanks for sharing.

What They Should Have Done: To survive, they needed more than a man. They needed...Hombre.

Jaws: The Revenge (1987)

The Tagline: This time... It's personal.

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Why It's Terrible: More of a fault of the film than the poster, but sharks don't have the sentience to understand vengeance.

What They Should Have Done: No more Amity.

Cool As Ice (1991)

The Tagline: When a girl has a heart of stone, there’s only one way to melt it. Just add Ice.

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Why It's Terrible: Ice melts stone? Seriously, whoever wrote this needs to retake their chemistry exams.

What They Should Have Done: Keep your composure when it's time to get loose

Silent Rage (1982)

The Tagline: Science created him. Now Chuck Norris must destroy him.

Why It's Terrible: Presumably, the credits should read: Chuck Norris as Himself. (Also, hindsight has conferred additional sniggers in the knowledge of Norris' real-life ultra-right, anti-science religious views.)

What They Should Have Done: Don't fuck with Chuck. (If you really insist on putting the star centre-stage, go for the obvious.)

Yogi Bear (2010)

The Tagline: Great things come in bears.

Why It's Terrible: The unfortunate juxtaposition of tagline and image, which suggests that Yogi is giving Boo-Boo a good rogering.

What They Should Have Done: It's pic-a-nic season.

The Day Of The Dolphin (1973)

The Tagline: Unwittingly, he trained a dolphin to kill the President of the United States.

Why It's Terrible: It's all in the word "unwittingly." If somebody had deliberately trained a dolphin assassin, that'd be pretty cool, actually.

What They Should Have Done: So long, and thanks for all the fish, motherfucker.

The Matrix Revolutions (2003)

The Tagline: Everything that has a beginning has an end.

Why It's Terrible: It marks the point at which the Wachowskis' cod-philosophical musings finally overtook their ability to tell an exciting sci-fi action movie.

What They Should Have Done: Time to get the Matrix under Ctrl + Alt + Delete.

Clash Of The Titans (2010)

The Tagline: Titans will clash.

Why It's Terrible: It's so lazy and reductive it's become a meme for bad taglines. Even The Dark Knight Rises , with its "A fire will rise" slogan isn't exempt. The irony is, at no point in the film do titans actually clash.

What They Should Have Done: Medusa will seduce ya.

Earthquake (1974)

The Tagline: An event.

Why It's Terrible: Note - an event. Not even the event. They could have written lorem ipsum dorum, and it would have looked more enticing.

What They Should Have Done: It's off the scale!

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Simon Kinnear
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