50 Worst Movie Sex Scenes

Features
By published

Completely unsatisfactory

The Specialist (1994)

Anatomy Of Hell (2004)

The Scene: Gay porn star Rocco Siffredi plays a man repulsed by the female form. Which suits Amira Casar fine, as her vagina is used to house all sorts of things – including a garden rake. Oh, yes.

Look Away When: The symbolism just all gets too much.

Myra Breckinridge (1970)

The Scene: Myra (Raquel Welch) plays a transsexual, who straps on a dildo and rapes Rusty over an operating table.

Look Away When: Welch threatens: “I shall ball you, Rusty. It's very simple.”

Exit To Eden (1994)

The Scene: Bondage fans Lisa (Dana Delany) and Elliott (Paul Mercurio) do the deed over breakfast. “Did you see Last Tango In Paris ?” she asks.

Look Away When: Elliot covers Lisa’s breasts in cinnamon. WTF?!

Fair Game (1995)

The Scene: Cindy Crawford’s divorce lawyer and Stephen Baldwin’s filthy cop get down and dirty on a train. Nice.

Look Away When: Crawford takes her top off. We dare you.

Howard The Duck (1986)

The Scene: Cherry Bomb singer Beverly Switzler (Lea Thompson) has her feathers ruffled by invading alien Howard. Mallard madness.

Look Away When: Beverly comes out of the bathroom in her silky nightwear. It’s all downhill from here.

Jack Frost (1996)

The Scene: Shannon Elizabeth fails to see the funny side in this cheesy slasher, as she’s penetrated with a carrot.

Look Away When: The floating carrot appears. This is gonna get messy.

Alexander (2004)

The Scene: Colin Farrell attempts to convince Rosario Dawson that “there are many different ways to love”. His way seems to involve a lot of energetic thrusting and some weird cat-like caterwauling.

Look Away When: Farrell makes his “oh” face. Oh dear.

Moonraker (1979)

The Scene: James Bond proves he does it better than anybody else, having sex while his spaceship enters Earth’s orbit.

Look Away When: Sir Frederick Gray says: “My God, what is Bond doing?!” To which Q replies: “I think he’s attempting re-entry sir.” Groan.

Killing Me Softly (2002)

The Scene: “Do you trust me?” Heather Graham gets strangled by Joseph Fiennes during a particularly rough sex scene.

Look Away When: The ribbons get attached to the fireplace.

Joshua Winning

Josh Winning has worn a lot of hats over the years. Contributing Editor at Total Film, writer for SFX, and senior film writer at the Radio Times. Josh has also penned a novel about mysteries and monsters, is the co-host of a movie podcast, and has a library of pretty phenomenal stories from visiting some of the biggest TV and film sets in the world. He would also like you to know that he "lives for cat videos..." Don't we all, Josh. Don't we all.