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  1. Entertainment
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50 Worst Movie Ex-Boyfriends

Features
By Kim Sheehan published 21 August 2012

It is so over!

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Stan Gable (Revenge Of The Nerds)

The Ex-Boyfriend: Stan Gable is a star quarterback and head of the Alpha Betas, a fraternity which makes the lives of the nerds on Adams College campus Hell.

His Post-Break-up Behaviour: Stan is dumped by his cheerleader girlfriend Betty after she is seduced by nerd Lewis Skolnick. Stan leads his fraternity in vandalising the nerds' house and attacking Lewis's best pal Gilbert.

Tal (Nick And Norah's Infinite Playlist)

The Ex-Boyfriend: Tal is a swaggering, egotistical amateur musician who has a history with cool indie chick Norah.

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His Post-Break-up Behaviour: It's not entirely clear how Tal and Norah got to that dangerous friends with benefits stage, but the scumbag is only involved with her to get to her record producing father anyway.

Johnny Lawrence (Karate Kid)

The Ex-Boyfriend: Johnny Lawrence is an arrogant student of an unethical, vicious form of martial arts, who takes a dislike to new kid on the block Daniel La Russo when Daniel befriends Johnny's former flame Ali.

His Post-Break-up Behaviour: A snubbed and jealous Johnny takes down Daniel during their first encounter and continues to torment him afterwards with his dirty martial arts moves.

Jake (It's Complicated)

The Ex-Boyfriend: Jake (Alec Baldwin) is a successful attorney who cheats on his wife Jane (Meryl Streep) with the much younger Agness.

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His Post-Break-up Behaviour: Jake and Jane have a swift divorce and he marries Agness. However, ten years later at their son's graduation, Jake rocks up and charms Jane back into bed, beginning a "complicated" affair. He also attempts to sabotage Jane's chances with the new man in her life (Steve Martin).

Warner Huntington III (Legally Blonde)

The Ex-Boyfriend: Warner Huntington III comes from a long line of senators and is on his way to Harvard to study law. He decides he needs to offload some particularly blonde baggage before he gets there.

His Post-Break-up Behaviour: How could we forget that break up scene? Warner cuts deep when he announces to Elle (a delightful Reese Witherspoon) "if I'm gonna be a senator, I need to marry a Jackie, not a Marilyn". He then throws an engagement ring on Selma Blair's unpolished finger and continues to undermine Elle's intelligence even when she manages to get into the same law school as him.

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Peter (Secretary)

The Ex-Boyfriend: Peter is a childhood friend of socially awkward, self-harming Lee. He seizes boyfriend status as soon as she checks out of hospital after a particularly bad incident of self-harm.

His Post-Break-up Behaviour: Peter is dumped by his unhinged fiance when she decides she would rather set up camp in her sadomasochist boss's office than marry him. Although she quite clearly hands back the engagement ring and tells him to leave, Peter tries to physically remove Lee and force himself on her. Fortunately as Peter is so feeble, Lee can easily send him packing... but still, what a nuisance.

Mr J.D. Sheldrake (The Apartment)

The Ex-Boyfriend: Mr J.D. Sheldrake is a successful and married personal director in a New York insurance company who engages in an affair with elevator girl Fran (Shirley MacLaine)

His Post-Break-up Behaviour: Fran becomes disillusioned when she discovers she is only the latest in a line of Sheldrake mistresses and attempts suicide when he returns to his wife. When Sheldrake hears of this he deals with it in a very cold, business-like manner but then attempts to string Fran along again when his wife leaves him.

Mark Zuckerberg (The Social Network)

The Ex-Boyfriend: Jesse Eisenberg plays Mark Zuckerberg, the Harvard student who connects better with technology and ideas than with people.

His Post-Break-up Behaviour: After being unceremoniously and swiftly dumped by his girlfriend Erica, Zuckerberg immediately goes home, blogs about her "false-advertising" breasts and develops Facemash, a website that compares and rates the attractiveness of female students including her. Not only that, but Zuckerberg then goes on to develop the most successful online social network of all time and, as a result, she is reminded of him everywhere. Bastard.

Heathcliffe (Wuthering Heights)

The Ex-Boyfriend: Orphaned Heathcliffe is adopted by the Earnshaws after he is found wandering the streets of Liverpool. Heathcliffe soon develops a close, all-consuming relationship with his adoptive sister Cathy.

His Post-Break-up Behaviour: As they grow older, Cathy turns her affections to the much more sensible choice of classy neighbour Edgar Linton, causing Heathcliff to run away from Wuthering Heights. However, after finding his own fortune, Heathcliff returns to punish Cathy, courting and marrying Edgar's younger sister Isabel and tightening his grip on Cathy right up until she dies.

Larry (Closer)

The Ex-Boyfriend: Dermatologist Larry meets and falls in love with Anna after they are sort of set up in an Aquarium by Dan.

His Post-Break-up Behaviour: No one in Closer behaves that morally or with any kind of class, but Larry's refusal to sign divorce papers unless Anna sleeps with him on his examination table is particularly low.

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Kim Sheehan
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