Claws for thought
For animals that sleep for most of their life and spend the rest of the time eating or tormenting any other living creature in their vicinity (by, say, killing them, ruining their curtains or digging their claws into your thighs) cats have had a long and venerable career in the movies. Supervillain cats, animated cats, talking cats, alien cats, jazz-loving cats, big cats, small cats, bald cats, fluffy cats, cats that think theyre Jesus and, of course, cute cats (auditioning for YouTube, no doubt) youll find them all here in our list of the Top 50 feline film stars.
50. Blofeld's Cat
The Cat: A vaguely malevolent looking Turkish Angora that spends its days being petted by baldy supervillain Ernst Stavro Blofeld.
If It Was A Dog: Blofelds bunker would absolutely reek
49. The Cat In The Hat
The Cat: A giant, talking cat that delights bored kiddies Sally and Conrad. Wed probably be terrified if we were them, but it takes all sorts
If It Was A Dog: The dog with the log no, it wouldnt work.
48. Fritz The Cat
As Seen In: Fritz The Cat (1972)
The Cat: A foul-mouthed, drug-taking serial shagger, Fritz is one cool cat. Not that the censors took kindly to his hedonistic ways, slapping the film with the first X certificate ever given to an animated film.
If It Was A Dog: He might not have been such a rabble-rouser. Dogs are too happy chasing their tails to offend anyone.
The Cat: Arguably the sexiest cat on the list, given that shes played by Natassja Kinsky, Irena is technically a werecat, but this is an equal opportunities list, so shes in!
If It Was A Dog: Dog people wouldnt seem nearly so slinky and erotic. Sorry.
46. Scat Cat
The Cat: The trumpet-playing jazzman (voiced by the legendary Scatman Crothers) is leader of a gang of musical alley cats. The best kind of alley cats, if you ask us.
If It Was A Dog: Scat Cat plays the trumpet. Show us a dog claiming to be able to do the same, and well show you a liar.
The Cat: The cutesy moggy that is designed to engineer a union between lovesick Georgia and a lad she fancies. Oh Angus, youre better than this. Dont let them use you so!
If It Was A Dog: Angus would have cocked his leg on the spotty oiks leg, thus extinguishing any prospect of romance
44. Sangha & Kumal
The Cats: A pair of tiger cubs, separated at birth and then inadvertently forced to fight each other later in life by Guy Pearces unscrupulous explorer. Hes a bit of a shit, in case you hadnt guessed
If They Were Dogs: The film would be relocated to East London, with Danny Dyer replacing Pearce as a cheeky cockney chancer trying to make his fortune in the underground dog-fighting scene.
43. Kitty Galore
The Cat: A hairless cat, posing as a puppy in her role as an undercover spy for the cats. Voiced by Bette Midler, shes a nasty piece of work
If It Was A Dog: She could pose as a hairless cat, and spy for the other team. Simple.
The Cat: Family moggy Snowbell is none to thrilled when Geena Davies and Hugh Laurie bring a mouse into the family and start treating him like a son, dressing him in human clothes and generally acting like a pair of fully paid-up nutters. Youre better off without them, Snowbell
If It Was A Dog: He and Stuart probably would have got on OK, but cats are a jealous breed
41. Blomkvist's Cat
The Cat: The friendly little critter who helps keep Blomkvist company when he moves into his new lodgings in Uppsala. Sadly, it falls foul of a sadistic killer and ends up in bits. Bummer.
If It Was A Dog: It might have been able to defend itself. Cats arent much for fighting off knife-wielding maniacs.