50 Dating Tips From The Movies

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Love lessons from the silver screen

Juno (2007)

He ties with Easy A' s Stanley Tucci for wisest movie Dad, by the way.

The 40-Year-Old Virgin (2005)

The Dating Tip: "You are putting the pussy on a pedestal... You're psyching yourself into thinking that this is some impossible thing."

How It Applies To Real Life: It's important not to over-think these things, something that Jay (Romany Malco) tries to get through to sex-starved Andy (Steve Carrell) in his typically crass fashion.

They may seem scary, but girls are humans too, you know. Once you remember that, the dating thing becomes a whole lot easier.

Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (1953)

The Dating Tip: "My line? My most effective one is to tell a girl she has hair like a tortured midnight, lips like a red couch in an ivory palace that I'm lonely and starved for affection. Then, I generally burst into tears. It seldom works."

How It Applies To Real Life: This is more of a "what not to do" - maybe we're being overly critical but instant tears don't usually lead to impassioned smooches and a frisky taxi ride back to their pad.

Nevertheless, Ernie Malone (Elliott Reed) has a method, and you've got to give him credit for sticking by it, even taking into account its questionable success rate.

A Single Man (2009)

The Dating Tip: “Lovers are just like buses. You just have to wait a little while until another one comes along."

How It Applies To Real Life: Patience is key. The hours you spend frantically right-swiping every hottie you stumble across on Tinder are pointless - everyone knows that it's once you swear off love and decide to just "focus on me for a bit" that the one just swans into your life. You can't force these things.

Aladdin (1992)

The Dating Tip: "Tell her the truth!"

How It Applies To Real Life: Aladdin offered us another classic Disney story with an important love lesson: lies will simply never get you the girl.

You can pretend you're not a penniless street rat (barista in a crappy hipster coffee joint), dress up like a prince (city boy) and offer all the magic carpet rides in the world (use your unlimited Addison Lee card all you want), but she'll like you twice as much if you're honest.

Batman (1989)

The Dating Tip: "Never rub another man's rhubarb"

How It Applies To Real Life: This very rude-sounding mantra is actually very simple. It's band of brothers. It's male solidarity. It's bros before very lovely hoes.

Regardless of whether your love rival is Robin or The Joker, it's never a good idea to try and poach another fella's last. Actually, we take that back. It's definitely worse if it's The Joker. He's got poison gas.

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010)

The Dating Tip: "Maybe next time we don't date the girl with eleven evil ex-boyfriends."

How It Applies To Real Life: There's baggage, and then there's a band of antsy ex-boyfriends ready to go all Street Fighter at the drop of a hat.

Hopefully none of you have or ever will have to run the risk of becoming nothing more than a heap of gold coins for your special someone, but there is a lesson in there - if she's got seven very angry old flames, maybe you don't marry this one?

Back To The Future (1985)

The Dating Tip: "Yes, definitely. Goddamn it, George, swear."

How It Applies To Real Life: Marty gets the rather unusual experience of giving his dad advice on how to woo his own mum in Robert Zemeckis's flashback cult classic, and shares one vital lesson that all men should heed - get some confidence and be a man. Even if that means dropping the odd curse word.

Swingers (1996)

The Dating Tip: "Laugh all you want but if you call too soon you might scare off a nice baby who's ready to party".

How It Applies To Real Life: The game is real, gentlemen. Sometimes playing hard to get is the only way to go. Who doesn't remember the stomach cramp-inducing embarrassment of that voicemail scene?

Wait a few days and do NOT call more than once. "Hi Nikki, it's Mike again". Ouch.

There's Something About Mary (1998)

The Dating Tip: "You choke the chicken before any big date, don't you?... Are you crazy? That's like going out there with a loaded gun!"

How It Applies To Real Life: When it comes to that all-important date, no chap wants to be… oh, how can we put this delicately? Let's say 'caught short'.

It might seem ungentlemanly to discuss, but sometimes you just need a quick-fix method for instant relaxation. Hopefully in real life it's something that stays in private, and that you can keep better hold of your, um, product than Ted (Ben Stiller).