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The 50 best Marvel movie one-liners you should try and work into conversation

Features
By Gem Seddon published 5 December 2017

From Iron Man to Thor: Ragnarok, here's the best quips from your spandexed superheroes

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"Shakespeare in the park? Doth mother know you weareth her drapes?" 

The movie: Avengers Assemble (2012)

Who says it? Tony Stark

The setup: Stark launches after Thor wanting to know who the hell he is (and to retrieve the Tesseract). As this is one of their first meetings, Stark chooses to challenge him to a verbal showdown after the Norse god tersely informs him "You have no idea what you're dealing with."

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Why its Marvel-lous: It's all a bit lost on Thor, but even he manages to grasp the implication: he's being expertly mocked.

"Can you believe they call us criminals when he's assaulting us with that haircut?" 

The movie: Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)

Who says it? Rocket Raccoon

The setup: Rocket and Groot (Vin Diesel) embark on a spot of people-watching in Xandar, and the furry little fella just can't help laying out this scathing observation.

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Why its Marvel-lous: It's possibly the best introduction to a character in any Marvel movie.

"What are you waiting for? It's Christmas. Take 'em to church!" 

The movie: Iron Man 3 (2013)

Who says it? Tony Stark

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The setup: The legion of Stark's Iron Man suits storm the oil tanker, and hover patiently in the air awaiting further commands from their master.

Why its Marvel-lous: It's a proper cheesy '80s-inspired line, which Stark effortlessly manages to make cool.

"I can feel the righteousness surging!" 

The movie: Thor: The Dark World (2013)

Who says it? Loki

The setup: As a last resort, Thor releases Loki from prison to assist in avenging their mother's death. His clever brother then begins shapeshifting into Thor's closest friends, and his Captain America impersonation is simply the best...

Why its Marvel-lous: Could the comical villain playing the all-American Steve Rogers possibly be a future spinoff? We certainly hope so.

"Hey fellas, either one of you know where the Smithsonian is? I'm here to pick up a fossil." 

The movie: Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014)

Who says it? Black Widow

The setup: As Cap chats with his newest buddy The Falcon (Anthony Mackie), Natasha Romanoff sidles up to the curb to collect him and oozes this killer line.

Why its Marvel-lous: It's further evidence to go in our 'Why we need a Black Widow movie' folder.

"Asleep for the danger, awake for the money, as per frickin' usual." 

The movie: Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)

Who says it? Rocket Raccoon

The setup: Quill, Rocket, Drax, and Gamora tussle with a few fellow inmates before deciding to unite forces to track down Ronan, with plans to sell the orb for a tidy sum and split it four ways. That is, until Groot wakes up and wants in.

Why its Marvel-lous: Bradley Cooper's line delivery of this specific quip might be his best in the whole movie.

"If you try to escape, or play any sort of games with me, I will taze you and watch Supernanny while you drool into the carpet." 

The movie: Iron Man 2 (2010)

Who says it? Agent Coulson

The setup: Tasked by Nick Fury to stand guard over Stark and make sure he doesn't leave his house, Agent Coulson (Clark Gregg) takes to the job with glee.

Why its Marvel-lous: As an all-around stand-up guy, Coulson rarely shoots off at the mouth. Man, if only he did a bit more...

"I need a horse." 

The movie: Thor (2011)

Who says it? Thor

The setup: On a mission to retrieve his beloved Mjolnir fifty miles away, Thor strolls into a small-town pet store and inquires about a suitable steed.

Why its Marvel-lous: A fine example of Thor's adjustment to life on Earth. Where it's pretty much impossible to pick out a horse and a hamster in the same establishment.

"Genius. Billionaire. Playboy. Philanthropist." 

The movie: Avengers Assemble (2012)

Who says it? Tony Stark

The setup: The world is in peril. Therefore, the Avengers are fighting about their respective contributions to the group, prompting Cap to ask Stark: "Big man in a suit of armor. Take that away, what are you?"

Why its Marvel-lous: Could easily have been the poster tagline for any Iron Man movie.

"I am Iron Man." 

The movie: Iron Man (2008)

Who says it? Tony Stark

The setup: After all of his antics, Stark issues a press conference, during which he amusingly describes himself as a superhero before delivering the movie's unforgettable closing line.

Why its Marvel-lous: Stark's preamble perfectly realizes his superhero status, and finally admitting that's who he is essentially sets up the entire Marvel Cinematic Universe.

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Gem Seddon
Gem Seddon
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Freelance Writer

Gem Seddon is a freelance writer working to keep all of you updated on all of the latest and greatest movies and shows on streaming platforms like Netflix and Amazon Prime. Outside of entertainment journalism, Gem can frequently be found writing about the alternative health and wellness industry, and obsessing over all things Aliens and Terminator on Twitter.

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