18 Awesome Movie Wimps

Son of Rambow (2007)

The Wimp: Will Proudfoot (Bill Milner)

Geek Chic: Pipsqueak Will forges a touching friendship with school rebel Lee Carter (Will Poulter) in this in this love letter to movie making, 80s Britain and school mates.

Lee convinces Will (who cuts a scrawny figure in a vest and makeshift headband) to star (and do stunts) in his reimagining of Rambo for a filmmaking competition. Having recently glimpsed First Blood , Will is dead keen to take part, though he has to keep the project a secret from his highly-religious family.

There's plenty of laughs as the moppet turns Junior School Stallone, but these moments bring the touching story to life, rather than turning it into an all-out farce.

Wimpiest Quote: "If they find out we're friends, I'll be in the worst trouble ever!"

Juno (2007)

The Wimp: Paulie Bleeker (Michael Cera)

Geek Chic: Director Jason Reitman put Michael Cera's trademark dweebiness to perfect use in this hit indie-com.

Bleeker is the object of Juno's (Ellen Page) affection, and the guy who gets her up the duff after a night of armchair-based passion. As a high-school track star, Paulie is often seen jogging in his school team's vest and shorts. He also has an addiction to orange Tic Tacs.

Timid Paulie struggles to admit that he has feelings for Juno, and in the end, it's down to the feisty, baby-carrying lass to make the awkward first move in establishing their relationship.

Wimpiest Quote: "You have no reason to be mad at me, I mean, you know, you broke my heart. I should be royally ticked off at you. I should be really cheesed off, I shouldn't want to talk to you any more."

Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope (1977)

The Wimp: C-3PO (Anthony Daniels)

Geek Chic: The shiny humanoid droid is a whimpering presence throughout the entirety of George Lucas' space saga, but it was in A New Hope that he made his first appearance (well, in real-life chronology anyway).

Basically designed as a robotic butler, C-3PO is ostensibly masculine, but he has apparently been programmed as a total wuss. That doesn't stop Princess Leia dispatching him to Tatooine to deliver a message to Obi-Wan Kenobi. Thankfully she had the good sense to pair him with far-more-effectual droid R2-D2.

Threepio and Artoo act as the audience's window into the universe of the original trilogy. C-3PO is given less to do in the prequels though, and after spending a lot of time with the young Anakin Skywalker, he conveniently has his memory wiped to ensure that series continuity prevails.

Wimpiest Quote:
"We seem to be made to suffer. It's our lot in life."

The Four Feathers (2002)

The Wimp: Harry Feversham (Heath Ledger)

Geek Chic: Heath Ledger stars as the British army officer who withdrew from his regiment on the eve of an expedition to Sudan.

Recently-engaged Harry becomes nervous and backs out of the war effort, and is disowned by his father and given white feathers signifying cowardice by his three best mates (and his fiancee). Despondent, Harry decides to make amends when he hears of his regiment facing troubles in the conflict.

Disguising himself (not entirely convincingly) as an Arab, Harry travels to Sudan, befriends mercenary Abou Fatma (Djimon Hounsou), and slowly sets about helping his friends and winning back their respect.

This version of the A.E.W. Mason novel, directed by Shekhar Kapur, presented Harry in a much more sympathetic light than the earlier adaptations.

Wimpiest Quote: "I was sent to fight and I ran away".

Napoleon Dynamite (2004)

The Wimp: Kip Dynamite (Aaron Ruell)

Geek Chic: Narrowly beating brother Napoleon to the wimpy crown, Kip is one of the movie's funniest characters.

Kip is styled like a classic cinematic geek, with buttoned-up polo shirt, greasy side parting, glasses, and weedy 'tache. Kip spends all of his time chatting to babes online, and he meets his wife Lafawnduh that way.

His wimpiness is never better demonstrated than when he volunteers at Rex Kwon Do, getting slapped around by the Sensai, and failing to deliver an astonishly unpolished swiping kick.

Wimpiest Quote: "Napoleon, don't be jealous because that I've been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know that I'm training to be a cage fighter."

Zombieland (2009)

The Wimp: Columbus (Jesse Eisenberg)

Geek Chic: Columbus, named for the destination in Ohio that he's heading for, is one of a few survivors of a zombie holocaust that has infected most of the population of America.

Played by perennial amiable wuss Jesse Eisenberg, Columbus has come up with a decent set of rules to help him survive the threat of the undead assailants: keeping fit, travelling light, not being a hero…

Columbus gets a pretty kick-ass travel buddy in the form of Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson, and he eventually gets to display a bit of courage after developing the hots for fellow survivor Wichita (Emma Stone).

Wimpiest Quote: "You see? You just can't trust anyone. The first girl I let into my life and she tries to eat me."

Troy (2004)

The Wimp: Paris (Orlando Bloom)

Geek Chic: Amongst the rippled beefcakes on display in Wolfgang Petersen's epic, the pansy stands out all the more noticeably. Paris is definitively a lover not a fighter, and it's his bedding of Helen of Troy that sees the war break out in the first place.

Wussy displays include getting his ass handed to him by Helen's hubbie Menelaus (Brendan Gleeson), and obliging brother Hector (Eric Bana) to step in and help him out, and of course, firing an arrow into Achilles' heel (his weak spot).

In fairness though, the casting of Bloom was absolutely spot on for this foppishly-haired, lily-livered, softly-spoken, toga-wearing wimp.

Wimpiest Quote: "Do you love me, brother? Will you protect me from an enemy?"

Diary of a Wimpy Kid (2010)

The Wimp: Greg Heffley (Zachary Gordon)

Geek Chic: The journal-scribbling lad gets abuse from all corners when he starts 'middle' school. He puts all of his effort into making his school's cool list and becoming a yearbook 'class favourite', but his attempts always manage to backfire.

One of his key hindrances on the path to popularity is chunky best bud Rowley, who inadvertently thwarts Greg's attempts at cool. Luckily, Hollywood cool kid of the moment Chloe Moretz is on hand to dole out some worldly advice.

Wimpiest Quote: "Always wear one strap. One strap is cool."

Matt Maytum
Editor, Total Film

I'm the Editor at Total Film magazine, overseeing the running of the mag, and generally obsessing over all things Nolan, Kubrick and Pixar. Over the past decade I've worked in various roles for TF online and in print, including at GamesRadar+, and you can often hear me nattering on the Inside Total Film podcast. Bucket-list-ticking career highlights have included reporting from the set of Tenet and Avengers: Infinity War, as well as covering Comic-Con, TIFF and the Sundance Film Festival.