13 Serial Killers Who Should Be Movies

Nannie Doss

Bumped Off: 11 assorted husbands and relatives between 1927 and 1954. Convicted of eight.

"He sure did love those stewed plums," was one of her more notorious chuckles, while gleefully recounting one hapless husband's agonising death from arsenic poisoning. Er, LOL!

Starring: Kathy Bates, in more or less a straight reprisal of her screamsome Misery lead.

Ahmad Suradji

Bumped Off: 42 women in Indonesia, over 11 years until his 1997 arrest.

Robert Hansen

Bumped Off: 17 to 21 Alaskan sex workers in the 1980s. 'Only' convicted of four, in return for info on further grave sites.

Why A Movie? In a vile twist ideal for tacky exploitation horror, Hansen would fly captives in his Piper Super Cub out from suburban Anchorage to a mountain cabin, then release and 'hunt' them through the surrounding woods.

Starring: Mark Hamill, especially if he'll bring his Joker laugh . And yes, we know that's entirely too much. Sorry.

Luis Garavito

Bumped Off: A current (ongoing) count confirms 138 Colombian street boys, for an almost meaningless total of 1,853 years' slammer time. Well, in theory...

Gerald Stano

Bumped Off: Hmm, tricky one. Officially 41 women; that's what he got the chair for in Florida, 1998.

Gilles De Rais

Bumped Off: 200? 800? 6000? Impossible to say; this French knight's child-slaying rampage lasted from 1435 to 1440, when he was hanged AND burned. Just in case, like.

Why A Movie? Mostly for the historical context - before 'torturing sex maniac', he was more nobly known as a companion-in-arms of Jeanne d'Arc.

Starring: Check that bowl cut - Gérard Depardieu, obviously.

Bla Kiss

Bumped Off: At least 24 women circa 1900, luring them to his little town near Budapest. We don't know exactly - he was never caught.

Lee Boyd Malvo

Bumped Off: Officially, six of the Beltway sniper victims across Maryland, Virginia and Washington DC in Oct 2002.

Dnepropetrovsk Maniacs

Bumped Off: 21 random Ukranians over a month in summer 2007.

Belle Gunness

Bumped Off: 40+, mainly suitors lured by lonely hearts ads to her Indiana death farm (a literal pigsty) over a couple of decades or so in the early 1900s.

Jack Unterweger

Bumped Off: An alleged 15 prostitutes in various countries; convicted of nine in 1994. Life, no parole.

Richard Kuklinski

Bumped Off: 200+, he says, in a long and unspeakably grizzly life as a mob hitman. Convicted on five counts.

H. H. Holmes

Bumped Off: Between 27 (for which he was convicted) and 230 across the US and Canada, over six years as the 19th century waned.