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  1. Home
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10 Naughtiest Movie Schools

By Lucy
published 1 October 2009

Every teacher's worst nightmare...

  • Comments
St. Trinian's (School for Young Ladies)

St. Trinian's (School for Young Ladies)

The School: The school for 'young ladies' is reputedly based on a real-life Edinburgh boarding school, where the focus is on self - rather than school-enforced - discipline.

So, basically, they do what they want.

Naughtiest Pupil: Probably Gemma Arterton's Head Girl, Kelly. She gets her own way simply by being horribly sexy all the time.

Suggested Punishment: Close the damned school and send them all off on extended work experience. At KFC.

Page 1 of 10
Page 1 of 10
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

The School: Nestled somewhere in the Highlands of Scotland, Hogwarts is a hotbed for magical mischief, forbidden wand-waving and general rule-breaking.

Naughtiest Pupil: Has to be the man himself, Harry Potter.

Remember the time he broke into that forbidden room? Or the time he wandered around the corridoors late at night just looking for a fight? Oh, no, wait - he does that in every film.

Suggested Punishment: Confiscate his Invisibility Cloak. And the Marauder's Map. Hell, take his piggin' wand. How'd you like them apples, Harry?

Page 2 of 10
Page 2 of 10
Abbey Mount

Abbey Mount

The School: Stroppy Malibu brat Poppy is sent off to an English boarding school to learn some manners. She wants to get expelled, and her new schoolmates help her out, by causing a downright ruckus and letting Poppy take the blame.

Naughtiest Pupil: Little Princess Poppy Moore, who just can't shake off her LA ideals. Poor little rich girl.

Suggested Punishment: If her dad had really wanted to punish her, he should've sent her to an inner-city Glaswegian comprehensive. She'd ruin her manicure clawing at those gates.

Page 3 of 10
Page 3 of 10
Rancho Carne High School

Rancho Carne High School

The School: Rancho Carne High School is home to "The Toros", a cheerleading squad going for their sixth consecutive national championship title.

However, they only got there by cheating, and stealing another school's moves. Naughty, naughty.

Naughtiest Pupil: Big Red, the former team captain who filmed the routine created by "The Clovers", and fobbed it off as her own.

Suggested Punishment: We'd make her perform in the school's spare P.E. kit. It's brown, size XXL and smells of arse.

Page 4 of 10
Page 4 of 10
High School (Unnamed)

High School (Unnamed)

The School: Set in suburban somewhere, the anonymous high school in Brick appears to be ruled solely by the student body.

You have to be reminded every now and then that it is, in fact, a high school, and not simply LA's criminal underworld.

Naughtiest Pupil: The Pin, who supplies all the high schools in the area with drugs. OK, so he's not technically a pupil, but he's possibly the most influential member of every student body in a fifty-mile radius.

Suggested Punishment: Uh, prison?!

Page 5 of 10
Page 5 of 10
Shiroiwa Junior High School

Shiroiwa Junior High School

The School: The students of Shiroiwa Jr. High School are so naughty that they're hand-picked as sacrificial lambs for Battle Royale's gory spectacular.

The students are made examples of in a socio-correctional TV show, where they're sent to an island and forced to murder each other. Desperate times, desperate measures!

Naughtiest Pupil: Kazuo Kiriyama - not officially a pupil of Shiroiwa, but a volunteer, who joined in just for kicks. He kills the most students, and enjoys it immensely .

Suggested Punishment: We can't help but feel that he just needs a mother, a hot meal and a cosy, warm bed.

Page 6 of 10
Page 6 of 10
Fairview High Grammar School

Fairview High Grammar School

The School: Tormented is out on DVD this week. It features the scruffy oiks of Fairview High, who bully the hell out of fellow student Darren Mullet.

When Mullet dies, his spirit wreaks revenge on the tormentors who made his life a misery. Go, Mullet!

Naughtiest Pupil: Tasha, played by Skins ' April Pearson. She's Queen Bitch: the popular, mouthy tart.

Suggested Punishment: She does get her head lopped off with a shovel. We'd probably just've stuck it down the loo and gone for the old flushy-flushy.

Page 7 of 10
Page 7 of 10
North Shore High School

North Shore High School

The School: Cady (Lindsay Lohan) has been brought up in the deepest wilderness of Africa - but nothing could prepare her for the cut-throat world of the US High School.

Like so many before it, this school is at the mercy of the student body. And it is merciless.

Naughtiest Pupil: Regina (Rachel McAdams), the leader of The Plastics, the meanest of the lot.

Suggested Punishment: We'd send Regina out to the African bush with nothing but her make-up bag for protection. Let's see how much damage she could do with a pair of tweezers.

Page 8 of 10
Page 8 of 10
Shermer High School

Shermer High School

The School: Perhaps the best-loved high-school movie, The Breakfast Club gives us a window on the naughtiest kids in Shermer High. Each is from a different social clique - forced together in detention - though it unfolds that they're not that different, after all.

They're still naughty, though.

Naughtiest Pupil: John Bender, probably - he's in there for setting off the fire alarm. Which is always annoying. You have to get up and stand around outside for ages . What a bender.

Suggested Punishment: Next time the fire alarm goes off -real or not - we'd lock him in the caretaker's cupboard.

Page 9 of 10
Page 9 of 10
Bronson Alcott High School

Bronson Alcott High School

The School: A Beverly Hills high school, home to the elite, privileged few, Bronson Alcott is a hub of dumb floozies and meat-heads. Most are too preoccupied with being rich and fashionable to do any work.

Nau ght iest Pupil: Cher is pretty naughty. When her grades slip, all she has to do is flirt outrageously with the teachers and boom, it's sorted. We tried that for years. All it led to was humiliation and disgrace.

Suggested Punishment: The introduction of compulsory school uniform. Complete with stripy tie, below-the-knee pleated skirts, navy blue V-necks and boaters.

Page 10 of 10
Page 10 of 10
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