Virtua Fighter’s Dural was damn annoying. And Jinpachi from Tekken Five was an underhanded so and so. But Seth, ripping his constantly changing move set from every combatant in SF IV, takes the horribly cheap cake. Say hello to the most annoying boss character you’ve ever seen.
Mr. Vile’s Eating Contest scarred us for years. For a veg-scoffing competition between a blocky cartoon croc and a honey bear - who's been turned into a equally blocky cartoon croc - the rules are amazingly convoluted. In round one you have to eat more red vegetables than Vile. But in round two you have to eat more red veg than him while avoiding yellow sprouts. Round three tasks you with eating a variety of both. Phew.
Above: A decade of therapy later and Banjo's still haunted by his nemesis
Eat the wrong kind at the wrong time – causing you to freeze temporarily – and the feeling of helplessness as the greedy Vile sails into an insurmountable lead reaches aneurism-courting levels of frustration. Even worse, if you fail the third round it makes you repeat the previous two all over again. Throw in some sound effects so irritating they’ll make you want to punch family members in the face and you’ll understand why we still get angry twitches when looking at our battered Banjo box.
Eva is annoying at the best of times. She’s sexually suggestive when she should be helping you bunk off terrorists. She wears a bikini in the Russian jungle when she should be wearing body armour. And the sneaky vixen is even a big fat – OK, nubile and shapely – double-crosser. But Eva at least keeps our rage at bay for most of Snake Eater by being self sufficient.
Pity then, she gets stabbed by a branch in a bike accident.
Changing Eva from sultry sex-pot…
Into a back-breaking ball and chain that needs to be dragged across the jungle floor...
After Snake heals her with medicine, dragging Eva’s semi-conscious corpse is painfully slow and hateful, especially when you’re trying to evade enemy patrols. It’s one of the most challenging areas in the game for those who want to complete Snake Eater without ever being seen. For the anal completist types Metal Gear’s methodical gameplay flirts at like a lady of ill repute down at the docks, this is undiluted gamer rage.
Including a tension-filled fight through streets of flying Kryll – GOW’s little light-shy beasties of death – where you have to constantly dash between street lights: Good idea. Putting in a section where you have to drive away from said beasties in a rotten vehicle section: A bad idea of rage-riling proportions.
Above: C'mon, then, Kryll. You're razor-sharp teeth are no match for my light
In single-player this bit is a nightmare, requiring the dexterous digits of a brain surgeon. A surgeon with four arms. Driving and aiming the beam on the back of your ride - to stave off the buggers - together is a no no. And you have to stop when each new wave attacks you. It's a strange design decision that’s caused us many restarts and filled us with all kinds of unquenchable gamer rage. Just focus on the Locust curb-stomping next time, Epic, eh?
