Damn you Wall-E, and damn whoever decided to come up with that way our trash-compacting, lonely-hearts-surfing robo-friend constantly repeats his own name in gurgling, quasi-’endearing’ fashion. It’s not cute, it’s not appealing, it’s... oh, the movie’s set to rake in $250 million? Ah. Shows how much we know. Still, at least the blatantly nicked premise shows promise. Take sci-fi sitcom Red Dwarf and ...

War World has been knocking around since July last year, where it was announced by Ubisoft at last year’s E3. In the time since, Peter Moore left Microsoft, the economy has hit the toilet, and War World still hasn’t become a good game. If you’ve tried the least generous trial ever – a whopping fifty seconds of gameplay – you’ll not know just how pointless War World’s existence is. ...

The truth is, anyone who has spent any time poring over White Dwarf magazine or squandering pocket money on blister packs of Orc Boyz or Dark Elves will get a kick (or nostalgic pang) from Warhammer: Battle March. In fact, it’s quite clear that it has been created in an attempt to satisfy fans of the tabletop games rather than any veteran RTS players out there. ...

Warlords is four-way Breakout at high speed against three other players, and is yet another piece of Atari Live Arcade graveware. Atari dug this one up, pumped it full of HD-o-juice, and it’s one of the few which almost holds up these days. ...

While the analogy might take a small stretch of the imagination, Orochi 2 is much like ladies’ face cream. Think about it: every five minutes a new and improved rejuvenating goo appears boasting the latest in technology that claims superiority over everything before it. But, in reality, it’s been squeezed from the same ten-year-old tube. ...

In 2005, developer Rockstar Toronto expertly transformed the stale 2D beat-‘em-up into a full-blown 3D brawler with The Warriors. The long-forgotten cult flick was immediately revitalized by the superb game, setting off waves of special edition DVD releases, and a rock-solid PSP port a few years later. Fast forward to now, where the game is an easily obtainable, must-buy bargain bin treasure, and we’re baffled. ...

We hated every moment of this second combat-orientated Watchmen game. Bad guys get hit. Lots of bad guys. And then blood flies everywhere, and Rorschach punches people in the groin and, like, Nite Owl breaks arms in half or something. A ‘Rage’ meter keeps track of their anger and makes them go crazy when it’s full. ...

Watchmen - the comic book - is one of the artistic high points of the form. Watchmen - the movie based on the comic book - is a fairly close reproduction of the graphic novel, with some mostly forgivable divergences. Watchmen: The End is Nigh - the videogame based on the movie based on the comic - is, despite grand production values, the shameless cash-in that fans feared the film would be. ...