Why Nintendo needs to make an HD console

Internet grinds to halt as we make shocking statement that no one’s definitely ever thought of before

We want Nintendo to make a games platform that supports high definition, whether that be a retooled Wii or an entirely new console. We know, a shattering revelation, ain’t it? If you can pull yourself together after thatcontinent-crumbling shock, we’re going to tell you why the company needs to embrace HD. And we even go beyond the ‘cause the Wii looks the shitZOR on my plasma TV’ argument. Don’t say we aren’t real jarnalists.


Look, as the 5 tonne stampeding African bull elephant in the room, we had to get this one out of the way, alright? We’re not going to kick in the Wii’s pathetic processing power, either. Upscaled versions of Perfect Dark and Banjo Kazooie on Xbox Live have already proven you don’t need cutting edge textures to look dang pretty on an HD tele box. And considering the likes of Super Mario Galaxy 2 and Metroid Prime 3: Corruption already sport some of the finest art direction of the generation, this definitely isn’t a polygon thing.


Above: Imagine: Party Babyz on a huge plasma: is there any sweeter sight?

No, instead it’s all to do with the shitty 480p resolution the Wii outputs games at. To put things in perspective, running a Wii with a component cable at 480p (the optimum cable and settings for the console) is only the equal to running a 360 with one of its worst cables, at the lowest resolution the machine accepts.

Essentially, the brilliant design of a Galaxy is being wasted when the already risible resolution has to be stretched out over 42 inches. It would be like Da Vinci painting the Mona Lisa, smearing it with Vaseline, photocopying it and blowing the copy up to ten times the size of the original picture.


Above: Indeed it is Leo, mate. Indeed it is

This would all change if Nintendo released an HD Wii that supported 720p and above, though. Because the company’s best games are easily pretty enough to compete with the likes of Gears and Uncharted… even if they don’t support triple buffering.


Right, give us a second here. OK, ready: Super Mario World, Yoshi’s Island, The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, Star Fox 64, Wave Race 64, 1080° Snowboarding,Donkey Kong Country, Pilotwings 64, F-Zero X, Super Mario 64… honestly, we’d continue, but we think we’re about to collapse.


Above: Easy, fella. We want HD Zelda, too

The point is, there’s a veritable shit tonne of classic Nintendo games just waiting for a good, hard HD upscaling that would automatically make the Virtual Console on a high def Wii the greatest online store ever. At least until that one which lets you design and buy your own genetically modified chimps gets off the ground.

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