What product will Apple replace next?

How you'll be eating through iTunes by 2012

Apple announced its iPad thingumawhatsit this week, and if everything falls into place, it should revolutionize the way you interact with books, magazines, and spreadsheets the same way the company did with music and movies. Which led to the inevitable question: What existing products will Apple make rounded, glossy, and proprietary next?!


Above: HOLY SHIT CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS THING WOW!!!

What started as a fascinating, analytical look at the future of technology and the way we see the world, devolved into a series of “i” puns faster than you could remove DRM from your legally obtained media. And although we’re pretty sure the results are more fun to look at anyway, you can’t really put any of the idiocy below past a company banking on a sleek laptop with the primary functionality of facilitating iTunes transactions in its own store


Above: Mac Heads may now take it to the grave


Above: Revolutionize the way you interact with menus without ever opening your palm. Comes in White, Black, and Apple® Other®


Above: Fits up to FIVE iFingers! Perfect for Crab People!


Above: Now with twice the i


Above: And without a partnership with Nintendo, how else would this be possible?


Above: You think Mr. Burns is the only billionaire to challenge solar exclusivity?


Above: We may not be able to undo the damage done to the Land of the Boot by MTV. One more season of Jersey Shore, and even the most patriotic goomba will be ready for a racial reboot


Above: Augmented Reality that incorporates every event of your life into a rousing montage


Above: Whatever the hell this thing takes shape to be should reign supreme!


Above: For that singular dilemma


Above: Formally known as the iPhonograph


Above: Alright, enough already!

Jan 29, 2010

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