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Trailer Trash Retro Edition

The best way to predict the future is to look at the past, or so someone smarter than us once said. For this week’s Trailer Trash, we’re doing just that with a look back at some of our favorite retro game videos. Pages are arranged roughly by era, so feel free to skip around.

 

Early Times


Cosmic Ark

Ah, the good old days when building a fort to play games in was more exciting than the games themselves. And your gullible little brother still believed that watching you play meant that he was on your team, ergo also playing.  Sucker!

 

Missile Command/Learn French

See? Two out of three grandparents agree that videogames will turn your child into a bow tie-wearing, French-spouting little Einstein, not a sociopathic, puppy-torturing sodomite. See? The TV said so. Unless he turns into a sophisticated Bond villain intent on perpetrating DEFCON 1.

 

Donkey Kong

This clearly racist Reagan-era propaganda stoked the flames of white suburban paranoia during a time when increased consolidation of wealth in the hands of the elite was causing rampant crime across the nation. The solution? Nuke the whales, buy a gun, vote Republican and get you some Donkey Kong on the Colecovision.

 

Have you played Atari today?

From the looks of it, Atari spent this commercial’s entire budget on the awesome, “Have you played Atari today?” jingle and couldn’t afford, you know, actors. So some brilliant producer (who probably now owns a Caribbean island) got the great idea to just color in the storyboards and call it done.

 

The Fonz Pinball

While not strictly a videogame, we had to include The Fonz Pinball for the digitized Henry Winkler one-liners and that kid’s amazing shirt, which modern day hipsters would commit hara-kiri for.

19 comments

  • Coolbeans69 - June 23, 2009 6:58 a.m.

    Link was a girl in the zelda ad, wow. We got some lesbian action goin on! And props to u guys for referencing the avgn, if that was what u were doing on the Fester's Quest one
  • yoreAtowel - June 15, 2009 8:20 p.m.

    Go Link, get some. lulz
  • EchoBlade - June 15, 2009 6:22 p.m.

    Wait a minute... Did Zelda have a MAN voice in the dancing one?!
  • NeoKef - June 12, 2009 5:44 p.m.

    Some of these made me cry in pain. WFT is Link doing dancing!?!?!?!?!
  • Skykid - June 12, 2009 5:24 p.m.

    What the heck?!?!? You really meant it when ya said 'retro' ya really meant it.
  • xxxFurryFanxxx - June 12, 2009 3:04 p.m.

    What has been seen can not be unseen. Fail cakes. Good article though
  • LordsOfTechno - June 12, 2009 10:27 a.m.

    I always watch the Zelda dance ad. It never gets old... and the music is so damn catchy!
  • NipplesTheSuperHippo - June 12, 2009 4:47 a.m.

    I just saw the Toy's R Us thing . . . I think I saw Brett in the background. ;)
  • NipplesTheSuperHippo - June 12, 2009 4:36 a.m.

    I love the power glove . . . it's so bad. Straight up power glove For the lose/win/lose again.
  • AntistaIsTheLight - June 12, 2009 4:29 a.m.

    Does this ever make anyone wonder if our seemingly awesome game commercials will end up like this in about 10+ years? Think about it!
  • PinkLenny - June 12, 2009 2:01 a.m.

    Man, its crazy how this all wasn't even that long ago. I wonder what we are going to be playing the equivalent amount of time from now
  • Defguru7777 - June 11, 2009 10:49 p.m.

    Those Zelda ones made my eyes, ears, and foot bleed.
  • Cyberninja - June 11, 2009 9:39 p.m.

    didn't you do this before
  • DarxStar - June 11, 2009 9:38 p.m.

    Almost first! These suck lol!
  • skyguy343 - June 11, 2009 9:34 p.m.

    sweet! new TT! first?
  • Demonflare - June 16, 2009 4:18 p.m.

    What the duce, power glove....that commercial made it look better than the Wii control.
  • Corsair89 - June 12, 2009 3:30 a.m.

    I'm still trying to figure out if the Zelda ads were awesomely bad or just bad.
  • Mittenz - June 11, 2009 10:45 p.m.

    Ever want to see the palm of Mario's hand? Well, BAM! All thanks to the power glove
  • shadowless92 - June 11, 2009 10:08 p.m.

    LOL funny shit i love u Gamesradar

Showing 1-19 of 19 comments

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