Trailer Trash 8

Your weekly dose of awful game videos

Words: on June 18, 2009

This week in Trailer Trash, we’ve received a couple of videogame trailers geared toward girls. Not that there’s anything really wrong with it, but when will developers ever come out with a good girl game? Oh, that’s right - never. Because guns will always be way cooler and more badass than pots and pans, smashing glass is more awesome than raising kids, and splattering blood everywhere is cooler than washing your dog.

Cate West: The Vanishing Files

If the actual game is anything like the trailer, I hope that goddamn lady quits talking while my magnifying glass cursor is out.

 

Women’s Murder Club: Games of Passion

First, I’m pretty sure there would be some unhappy parents when their little girl refuses to join a book club and exclaims, “I wanna join the Women’s Murder Club instead!” Second, since when did playing mahjong become a method to find clues?

 

Personal Trainer: Walking

This isn’t exactly just for girls, but most guys who watch this trailer tend to get bored and move on. Did Nintendo just decide that girls love watching graphs scroll through their DS? It’s like keeping track of your menstrual cycle. Plus, how many families are like that? The dad probably hates his life, the mom wants validation for not having a job, and the older daughter thinks she’s fat.

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Platforms:

Xbox 360, PS3, PS2, Wii, PC, PSP, DS, Xbox, GameCube

27 Comments
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  • joshdaman123

    joshdaman123  - 2 years, 7 months ago  - Report

    i just lost faith in the very exsistence of life.... famn you woman and your crappy trailers!!!!!!! *raises fist in air*
  • Danomeon

    Danomeon  - 2 years, 7 months ago  - Report

    Actually, that crimson gem saga looks slightly good. I loves me some turn-based RPG, and it looks like they actually have a chrono trigger-esque double attack system.
  • MattYg1

    MattYg1  - 2 years, 7 months ago  - Report

    I still cant figure out how anybody anywhere believes that anyone anywhere can take Shia Labouff seriously in anyway...
  • potpan0

    potpan0  - 2 years, 8 months ago  - Report

    @fatcat275, I noticed that the drumming was well off. he'd be hitting the drum and you could hear the symbols. If they're trying to start off a carea thats a bad start!
  • StupidTownColonStupidStateColon

    StupidTownColonStupidStateColon  - 2 years, 8 months ago  - Report

    I can't even watch the videos, I didn't even finish one!
  • jaffa_5

    jaffa_5  - 2 years, 8 months ago  - Report

    lol @cyberninja it really is fun

    recaptcha: roomy joan (thats also the name of the chicken lol)
  • fatcat275

    fatcat275  - 2 years, 8 months ago  - Report

    I noticed that the Dares' lipsync was messed up, both in the game and in real life.
  • Skykid

    Skykid  - 2 years, 8 months ago  - Report

    WHAAAAAAAAT THEEEEEE F--------K?!?!?!? This stuff is wacked up? Were you on a high GR? or am I just a bad critic?
  • Cyberninja

    Cyberninja  - 2 years, 8 months ago  - Report

    @jaffa_5 yes and i am looking forward to nostigia it looks fun
  • jaffa_5

    jaffa_5  - 2 years, 8 months ago  - Report

    any one else think Lizzie Cuevas is all kinds a cute??
  • Spybreak8

    Spybreak8  - 2 years, 8 months ago  - Report

    Hahahahahaha, oh man nice ones this time around, holy cow. Hmm, why'd mom leave you dad? Well son, she found out that I was cheating on her with that game you bought for your DS. Is that why I'm grounded? haha what the hell. Director: Ok people I need you to run back and forth in your suburban back yard, no more enthusiasm damn it! The reactions of those people to that lame band were priceless and that cycle game, omg!
  • MechGyver

    MechGyver  - 2 years, 8 months ago  - Report

    "...Smell that? You smell that?
    What?
    Pussy, son. Nothing else in the world smells like that.
    I love the smell of pussy in the morning..."
  • skyguy343

    skyguy343  - 2 years, 8 months ago  - Report

    woah woah woah, seriously, that testicle potshot was not cool
  • zayleffein

    zayleffein  - 2 years, 7 months ago  - Report

    Wow Shia with a mustache... I feel suddenly more manly...
    Oh and I have to thank you GR for writing a review on Free Realms, I knew it would not be my type of game before I ever even considered downloading it. Crimson Gem looks like a yawnfest. If you want a similar experience play Chrono Trigger on the DS, at east you know that game is 15 years old and it won't make you think "Man this new game sure sucks!"
    Yes GR, your continued coverage of all things gaming keeps me coming back to you.
    *huggles*
  • MetalGearFlaccid

    MetalGearFlaccid  - 2 years, 8 months ago  - Report

    ... What's funny is: I'm now interested in Crimson Gem saga after watching both videos; previously, I wasn't even aware of its existence. But, I am a sucker for classic (read: archaic) jRPGs, so that may be it.
  • vigeoman

    vigeoman  - 2 years, 8 months ago  - Report

    haha the dares must have got a terrible gig from free realms i mean its cool playing at e3 but for free realms thats terrible

    by the way i played the game and its one of the worst online games EVER
  • Jordo141

    Jordo141  - 2 years, 8 months ago  - Report

    That Personal Trainer: Walking thing works for dogs too?

    ................Cool.
  • jaffa_5

    jaffa_5  - 2 years, 8 months ago  - Report

    i just really love chicken lol
  • MechGyver

    MechGyver  - 2 years, 8 months ago  - Report

    @jaffa_5

    I thought bestiality was more your kind of thing




    (lol)
  • Scotch

    Scotch  - 2 years, 8 months ago  - Report

    wow. the personal trainer: walking add was HORRIFYING
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