Trailer Trash 12

Game videos that aren’t worth the pixels they’re printed on

Words: GamesRadar_ US on July 23, 2009

Need a break from the lurid bursts of awesomeness screaming out of San Diego? Then we suggest having a look at some of this week’s worst trailers in another thrilling edition of Trailer Trash. No packed-to-the-gills special appearances by Hayao Miyazaki or spectacular Green Hornet reveals, just the most futile bits of video game video we could find, rounded out with sardonic commentary. Enjoy!

CSI: Deadly Intent

This is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth: sometimes big movie stars have to take crap TV roles to pay for their swanky lifestyles. And thanks to game tie-ins, Morpheus can now put gas in his Testarossa.

G-Force

This trailer fails at precisely the point where it stops mocking itself and begins selling itself as a viable entertainment option.

Cursed Mountain

The developers of Cursed Mountain have hit on a fantastic way to deal with the Wii’s puny processing power: just limit your color palette to 4 shades of gray and 3 of blue. While Cursed Mountain’s story certainly sounds interesting, this look at gameplay is less than inspiring.

Next page: more relief from Comic-Con overload!

Platforms:

Xbox 360, PS3, PC, Wii, DS, PSP

31 comments

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DeathbyFira - July 28, 2009 12:09 a.m.

i think i am going to throw up omg what pices of crap mostly Nintendo is selling OMG the horibble pain my eyes!!!!!!!!!!
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frmonth - July 25, 2009 1:51 p.m.

so whens L - force coming out
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zayleffein - July 24, 2009 10:22 p.m.

I thought the G-Force trailer was wierd. Gerbils and firearms... wtf! Also I think there was nothing wrong with the way Trauma was laid out before so why are they trying to add weird flash animation comic-scenes?
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Cyberninja - July 24, 2009 8:44 p.m.

@thewebswinger what are you talking about
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cronoman66 - July 24, 2009 2:14 p.m.

wow Dragonica Online has shown me how to advertise games, dancing dead charactures of MJ and Bruce Lee, that will always make stuff sell!
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Corsair89 - July 24, 2009 6:08 a.m.

in the ArchLord trailer at 0:42, you can hear Gandolf say "You shall not pass" in the backround. It's like they don't even deny that they are stealing for LotR. I much would rather play L-Force than G-Force.
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dweller - July 23, 2009 10:01 p.m.

You know what shows off a game great? Darkness. Staring at black while you hear footsteps. What could be more awesome? Oh I know! Waggle to run. reCaptcha: Miss blast
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norid - July 23, 2009 9:59 p.m.

i have a problem i can either get soul caliber 4 or blazblue any help guys? Aslo great article not so great vidoes
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Jordo141 - July 23, 2009 8:26 p.m.

Does anyone else have the videos mysteriously missing?
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Cyberninja - July 23, 2009 8:22 p.m.

thanks for responding
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GamesRadarJoeMcNeilly - July 23, 2009 8:18 p.m.

Yep, it's the first time we've used a dood in the pano. We thought we'd try something a little different. And yes, we skipped last week because we got caught up making the lovely videos for Mikel's Legend of Chun Li feature. ("BOMB!" - LOL). Sorry 'bout that!
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afroninjakatana - July 23, 2009 8:11 p.m.

These games look hilariously horrible. I mean WTF at the Dragonica online game. Like you guys said it's really creepy looking.
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zymn - July 23, 2009 7:52 p.m.

wait... did G-Force just rip off Saturday Night Live?
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ChrisAntistaLikesLittleBoys - July 23, 2009 7:48 p.m.

Lol. Wait a SECOND did cyberninja put a first in that comment? clever. clever.
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azurechocobo - July 30, 2009 10:25 p.m.

That Dragonica online "trailer" is hypnotizing. Must...stop...watching...
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Shane1403 - July 25, 2009 11 a.m.

The voiceover in Archlord sounds like its a badly done mixture of a real person and a cg voice
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TheWebSwinger - July 24, 2009 6:37 p.m.

Without Lizzie working on this, how will Cyberninja ever be able to fap to terrible game trailers? Good work, Joe.
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Bobbety - July 24, 2009 6:05 p.m.

@Corsair89 So I'm not the only one who noticed that.
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vigeoman - July 24, 2009 3:53 p.m.

L force the L is for Lamb force
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darkfly23 - July 24, 2009 6:02 a.m.

"When two mighty heroes clarshed in the harsh desart" Over emphasis of the syllable 'ar' must have been popular back then.
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