6 episodes • 2009 • ITV1
In 2009 it was almost impossible to produce a show or film about vampires that wasn’t a hit, so voracious was the public’s lust for bloodsuckers. But never a channel to shirk a challenge, ITV managed to produce a supernatural show that sucked on so many levels. An attempt to update Bram Stoker’s vampire legends the 21st century, it was one the worst-cast shows of recent memory. The bland lead, playing a descendent of Van Helsing, looked permanently as if someone had just confiscated his iPod, while the usually reliable Philip Glenister’s American accent could only be excused as some kind of revenge for America inflicting Dick Van Dyke’s attempts at cockernee on us all those years back. Trite storylines, laughable villains (especially rat-man Mr Tibbs who looked like he’d escaped from Wind In The Willows), stilted dialogue and a turgid teen love triangle all conspired to make the show unwatchable.
The nadir: In "Smitten", Luke (the teen hero with all the charisma of a toilet brush) falls for a demon. Except she can’t be, can she? There's got to be a twist, surely? The whole episode can't just be Luke dates someone who seems to be a demon, who turns out to be a demon? Don't overestimate these writers…
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