The Top 7... Stereotypical gamers we hate

We'd rather be stabbed in our necks with rusty ice picks than try to hold any sort of conversation with one of these imbeciles. Emergency tracheotomies would both be less painful, and more likely to get us shots of morphine.

We're referring to rare, but very real individuals who by some astonishing means perfectly embody corny, old gamer stereotypes that definitely shouldn't describe any actual person ever. The following seven profiles illustrate the stereotypes that are most capable of initiating our gag reflexes. They should be avoided vigorously.

7. Frat boys

Usually plays: Halo 3, Guitar Hero 3
Favorite snacks: Brewskies, pizza, passed-out sorority chicks

It's hard to tell when these douche bags are actually playing a game as they're just as likely to yell "Score!" for a C-minus term paper or a well executed date rape as they are a Madden field goal. Their celebrations are somehow simultaneously chauvinistic and homoerotic, and no accomplishment is too meager to warrant a Pabst shotgun or chest bump.

These ravenous consumers of all things sequel and all things licensed are the undiscerning gamers that lazy publishers wish we all were. Storytelling will be largely overlooked for any kind of multiplayer. Rightly so, since rowdy bro-on-bro competition is the perfect excuse to loudly regurgitate Will Ferrell quotes and call each other "gay" without addressing the thick fog of sexual tension which permeates their Neolithic rituals and ignorant world views.


Top 7

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  • Electraspace - December 28, 2014 5:30 p.m.

    You forgot the "gamer girls" who don't know the first thing about games and only own consoles so they can stick the controllers between their breasts for selfies. Then again, I guess since they're not actually gamers they shouldn't even be on the list.
  • kirsten-hiroko-kobayashi - December 9, 2014 2:59 a.m.

    No these non existent 'gamers' do exist. they play family friendly games and karaoke only. You're right they play on grandma's plasma TV at family gatherings. Why not replace that with troll gamers that hack games just to mess with you? Hackers ...
  • robert-hall08 - February 9, 2013 5:33 p.m.

    Yikes! The imagery on that last one made my stomach churn. But, great article man. :D
  • alphakr3w - April 6, 2011 8:21 p.m.

    GamesRadar, you are now my favorite game site. I love you.
  • izzyisyourgoblinfriend - August 23, 2011 7:02 a.m.

    Amen to that!
  • casXey - March 18, 2011 11:23 p.m.

    I had a run-in with an RPG snob at a game store. I asked if they carried GTA and he said no, but he wouldn't have it in the store anyways. He said that they were to surreal and that he's already living in reality, or as he said, "My own version of it." I asked him what games he liked and he said, "Pokemon and Final Fantasy." I quicklt turned around and left.
  • killerhi5 - July 29, 2010 8:32 p.m.

    about the demon child 1. f***ing hilarious!!!!!! 2 play naruto, pokemon and halo 2. i eat poptarts im 13 and im nothing like that!!!!!!
  • Icalasari - July 16, 2010 1:53 a.m.

    Number 1 (the forum guy) is one of the few targets which most people will support the trolling of :D
  • Chrisbuek - July 13, 2010 6:59 p.m.

    @majdy93 - "as for ds, i still cant believe it's competing against psp, ds gaming really suck and ds is like a piece of a fashionable accessory." Yes, the DS competes with the PSP. The same way a school of barracudas "compete" with a side of beef.
  • Alfredhitchshot23 - May 30, 2010 11:27 p.m.

    The Wii is basically just a minigame engine with only a few quality titles. The X-Box 360 and PS3 are waaaaaaaaaay better. Plus there's a family across the street from me who fit into number 5
  • lewis22334 - March 13, 2010 6:18 p.m.

    There should be a number 8... gamers who are addicted to online and call anyone who comes near them a 'f-ing hacker' or 'mr. n00b'. they spiolt killzone 2 for me...
  • lacanfei - March 11, 2010 6:18 p.m.

    Anyone notice that the features/community editor or whatever kinda looks likes the devil child doodle? I used to be an RPG snob...except I played sports, exercised often, had short hair and drank excessive amounts of alcohol on Friday nights. It seemed though that every second of my time outside of that was spent playing RPGs and absolutely nothing else. I'd talk down about shooters and the like and hated, HATED, anything GTA related (still do). Then I grew up. Have a good job, have a great girlfriend and two large dogs. Now I've no time for 95+ hours of Xenogears, or levelling up endlessly to beat Ozma...I'm restricted in time to the point that I don't even bother with games much anymore. I am also acutely aware of the ridiculous sexism involved in most games and it saddens me ("just let me put on this push-up bra so my tits will look good when I'm saving the world, I'm a strong independent woman with stick-thin arms and legs, I wear ridiculously revealing clothing and I'm great at battling Sephiroth, Kefka, Cacteurs and Slimes! Look at my nearly bare and gigantic breasts bounce as I fling my anorexic frame impossibly — due to my lack of any muscles — through the air!") And let's not get started on the male stereotypes in games...Suffice to say, I'm no longer an RPG snob, now I'm one of those gamers who no longer has time for games because I have a girlfriend and a life and due to the former (something sorely missing in my pathetic RPG snob era) I look at the titillating visuals present in RPGs and games in general as pathetic eye candy for masturbating teens, and it saddens me. Is that a stereotype?
  • Alcibiades - March 8, 2010 9:41 p.m.

    lol i love kid one soooooo true, still think it's funny how parents buy 17+ video games for kids 11 and under...
  • D0CCON - February 26, 2010 11:54 p.m.

    and I just came off as an RPG snob. How to make up for it? COD RULES!!! (and now I'm a frat boy again, uhh) I LIKE MANY TYPES OF GAMES!!! (That's better)
  • D0CCON - February 26, 2010 11:51 p.m.

    "and no accomplishment is too meager to warrant a Pabst shotgun or chest bump" I just killed a giant rat in Oblivion! Give me some Pabst! (oh yeah, I forgot, frat boy gamers aren't capable of reading the considerably higher amount of words in an RPG)
  • Alfredhitchshot23 - February 11, 2010 3:06 a.m.

    If I ever met one of these douche bags, I'd kick them in the teeth with football cleats from their closets ( it's not like they're using them any way) and club them with a rusty tire iron
  • YourOldPalD - December 30, 2009 11:01 a.m.

    (P.S I meant cummumpance for the stereotypes not the editors. Lol :) :) :)
  • YourOldPalD - December 30, 2009 11 a.m.

    The irritating Irony is that you have an inbuilt desire to proove these selfish, self centered (and occasionally not existant outside a commercial) and sadly life challenged people so badly wrong and teach them the humility and error of their ways but that'd be like crafting an actual Penrose Triangle. It's all an illusion it can't happen. Thanks GamesRadar for pointing these arse flavoured rejects out. Can't wait for their cummupance :)
  • McTurtles - October 9, 2009 2:40 a.m.

    Oh yeah and you forgot the cool "black" guys who are PRETENDING to be black when they are really white by blasting rap in the back, calling their girlfriends *bitches* and calling the other people "crackers" and "pussies"
  • McTurtles - October 9, 2009 2:36 a.m.

    Yeah these are the extreme people, who don't know what color the sky is. I play WoW, H3(a little), CoD4, and FF(+other RPGs) but I'm healthy and I run every day, yes I'm a nerd, but no, I don't fit the stereotypical nerd.