The Top 7... Ridiculous in-game vehicles

Nuh-uh - we're not driving THAT

In this Top 7, we've got something for everyone. From the designed-to-be-mad, through intentionally daft to the oh-my-god-what-were-they-thinking, it's all here.

So sit down, strap in and try not to let anyone see that it's you in the driver's seat. We're taking a road trip to Daftsville.


7) Simpsons Road Rage: The Homer

Ah, the Homer. This eponymous creation of one Homer Simpson is the quintessential ridiculous vehicle. And yet, if we're honest, we kinda wish we had one. But maybe in a different colour. And cheaper than $82,000. Just look at its timeless design:

In the game, it's a bonus unlockable and has been slightly modified - the rear-view mirror's missing for a start and the interior doesn't appear to be fitted with shag carpeting - but it's still the four-wheeled definition of ridiculous.

How to get it: Pay $82,000 to one Herb Powell. Or alternatively complete all 10 missions with Homer in Simpsons Road Rage to unlock it.

Why it's ridiculous: Bubble domes (which never go out of fashion), oversized tail fins... oh, and the little ball on the aerial so you can find it in a car park. It's on every car. D'oh indeed.


6) Crazy Taxi: Rickshaw

They say that women don't grow muscles with exercise, instead simply becoming more and more toned. By that thinking, Gena here from Crazy Taxi must have calf muscles hewn from granite after using this thing to do her rounds.

But what about controlling this monstrosity? Is it just a reskin? Definitely not. It's actually got much better acceleration than the standard taxi, although controlling crazy drifts is much harder as the bike swings round very quickly. It does turn and stop on a dime, though, so pick-ups are much easier. Want to see it in action? Oh go on then:

How to get it: 'Borrow' you little sister's bike and forcibly attach it to one half of your parents' garden shed. Or press L+R, L+R, L+R, and A on Driver Select screen of Crazy Taxi on Dreamcast.

Why it's ridiculous: You're doing 100mph using only pedal propulsion, still able to knock over cars and lorries like dominoes and trying to pass it off as a legitimate taxi business? Get out of town.

This cheat was in both the arcade game and its Sega Saturn conversion and replaces your bike with an animated sheep. And no, this isn't Wales %26ndash; it's the Isle of Man. We like the way the sheep bleat if you bump into them. Oh, and the way the other racers don't even have riders. They're just bigger sheep.

How to get it: In the unlikely event you find an arcade cabinet of Manx TT in the wild (we played it last Christmas, so you never know), then you too can enjoy sheep-fuelled racing mayhem. At the transmission select screen, press gear up, gear up, gear down, gear down, lean left, lean right (and stay there), hold the brake in and then accelerate. If you did it right, you'll hear a "baaah" noise.

Why it's ridiculous: Sheep can't run at 150mph. And they certainly don't baah at a constant pitch like an engine. And it's not as if it could ever happen in real life, is it?

Oh. Well... the next one definitely couldn't...

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

The longest-serving GR+ staffer, I was here when all this was just fields. I'm currently Reviews Editor but still find time to speedrun Sonic levels and make daft Photoshop articles.
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