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The longest game intro movie ever

Yakuza 2, the sequel to Sega’s sprawling gang-land saga, was just released in Japan. We loved the original so much – seriously, go get it – that we couldn’t wait to rip off the plastic and get back to beating the crap out of henchmen. Too bad the game wouldn’t let us for over a half hour. What!? This isn’t Xenosaga, Sega. We don’t want forty minutes of cutscenes before the game even starts. If every game let us beat up a yakuza henchman on the title screen, then surely the videogame industry would be in a better state. Anyway, we braved the opening “credits” to show you what you’re in for. Grab a sandwich, put down your PS2 controller and hell, even take a nap. Enjoy!

10 seconds
The sequel to Japan’s answer to Grand Theft Auto opens in a seedy Japanese nightclub some time in the 1980s. People dance really badly for a bit, then someone gets shot in an alleyway.

Interesting tidbit
The game comes on two DVDs, so expect a lengthy, time-eating adventure with plenty of cutscenes.



4 mins, 30 seconds
There’s a fire, an evil man slaps a woman, the music swells, then we’re introduced to this grey-haired bad-ass, who points his gun to the camera and fires. Thankfully it isn’t loaded.

Interesting tidbit
In Japan, the ultra-popular Yakuza 2 has managed to outsell the original title by an astonishing margin already.

6 mins, 56 seconds
We meet another nasty, evil crime-lord. We know he’s a nasty, evil crime-lord because: a) he’s smoking, and b) he blows smoke into the camera, and c) he’s got a scar on his face. Obvious, really.

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