Smut Special

We take a look at the saucy games of yesteryear

Oct. 22, 2007

First, an apology to the ladies: if the sheer volume of pink, nippley pixels on these pages causes you to veil yourselves and retreat to a nunnery, then we're sorry. That said, though, the popularity of these primitive grumble-games arms you with important information. You now know that in the absence of fleshy boobs, streaming hardcore video websites and glossy magazines, this is what straight men will use for kicks. And you know that if you took away our 8-bit titillation, we'd revert to the Victorian practice of howling at a table leg and trying to dampen sexual ardour by eating cornflakes.

You'd think the free availability of internet porn would have diminished the desire to mix gaming and boobs, but that's to underestimate the global adoration of the unclothed bust. Why else would anyone sit through Lula 3D (an inferior gaming experience on almost every level), except to lurch, dumb-eyed and un-aroused, from one lewd, breast-filled scene to the next?

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