SkeleTONS: nearly every bony bastard in the gaming universe

A pictorial history of our skinless friends, from NES to PS3

Human-sized skeletons aren’t enough for the evil bandits of Neverwinter Nights – no, theirs must be the size of buildings and hang ominously over their dark and drab entryways. That’s all well and good, but uh, do they have humans that big or did someone spend an awful lot of time constructing a fake skull and arms?

More Castlevania, but now with DS-powered sprite capabilities that throw wave after wave of calcium-rich combatants your way. They’re so confident in their prowess they’ve even named these particular skelleys “Frisky.”

This is without a doubt the most embarrassing blow to human/skeleton relations. These two were minding their own business, probably talking about bones or something, when a quartet of roided-out maniacs came stomping in and making outrageous demands. Dear god leave them alone!

This shot proves two things. 1) PlayStation 1 games age like shit, and 2) Chrono Cross’s designers ran out of decent ideas about 30 characters into their 45 character roster.

Hoo boy, Killer Instinct. Think Rare will bother bringing it back after a 12 year hiatus? And if so, will Spinal make the cut? These are the questions GamesRadar is brave enough to ignore.

Somewhere deep beneath the part of the Earth that matters lay these two boney horse monsters that crush rival raider Pierre Dupont into dust. Dead dust.

TimeSplitters 2 is one of the few amazing FPSs fro GameCube, so please, please check it out it if you haven’t already. Oh wait, what’s that? Last gen games age like rotten fruit smothered in vulture shit? Hm. Maybe just wait for an inevitable remake.

There, happy? Of course we wouldn’t forget Manny, perhaps the most well known dead guy among PC adventure game nerds. That’s literally dozens of people who know him on sight!

We kid, we kid. Good stuff, Shafer. Now make Brutal Legend rock.

The multiplayer-minded Quake III introduced a vast number or poorly designed and immediately forgettable avatars, including Mr. No Name up there and several other sort-of-skeletal options.

Okay... we’re not sure what this is, but it has boobs and a clearly visible rib cage. Nightmarish indeed.

In a list of out-there skeletons, the Undead Hero still manages to stand high above the rest. C’mon, he’s wearing a suit of golden armor!

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