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SCRIPTEASE Angel Season Two

The Reduced SFX Company presents the second series of Angel in handy bite-sized format

OVERALL SYNOPSIS OF SHOW

Once upon a time a vampire named Angelus got himself a soul, fell in love with a Vampire Slayer, realised their relationship was doomed and left town. Now Angel lives in Los Angeles (the City of Angels, geddit?) and runs a Private Investigation firm with friends Cordelia, Wesley and Gunn. He also broods quite a bit and uses too much poncy hair gel.

ACT ONE

The SEASON ONE FINALE revealed that ANGEL will one day become HUMAN . Because of this AMAZING NEWS , ANGEL is now feeling a bit better about himself. But not much.

ANGEL : I feel like brooding today, but I might also smile a little and look fondly at my friends from time to time.

CORDELIA CHASE : Let’s hit a karaoke bar and get you singing!

ANGEL : [Sinks into a pit of despair]

The ANGEL INVESTIGATIONS team need a new base because their last one BLEW THE F**K UP . They find an old HOTEL which ANGEL used to know in the ’50s. Cue: FLASHBACK EPISODE .

JOSS WHEDON : Vampires were mysterious and secretive and therefore people used to think they were commies. See, my shows can explore real-life issues such as prejudice and paranoia even though they’re ostensibly about the supernatural!

ANGEL : Whatever. I just wish I didn’t have to wear so much Grecian 2000 in this damn flashback.

The FLASHBACK EPISODE ends and the team move into the vast, empty HOTEL .

CORDELIA : At least it’s got a nice colour scheme and some Art Deco touches going on. Beats a Travelodge any day.

ANGEL : I knew you’d love it. Now please excuse me, I have some brooding to do.

CORDELIA : I’m shocked and surprised.

ACT TWO

ANGEL is being visited in his dreams by DARLA , the vampire who sired him. This makes her his MOTHER . The fact that these dreams are RUDE makes this ICKY .

DARLA : Hello, darling. Gimme a kiss.

ANGEL : Why am I so obsessed with you? I killed you ages ago and didn’t even give a damn! ...Of course, that might have been because nobody had given me an angsty backstory back then and I had no idea you were that important to me.

DARLA : Shut up and snog me.

ANGEL : You’re a saucy little mother, aren’t you?

When ANGEL wakes up, he BROODS .

CORDELIA : I’m getting so bored of this. You are the world’s most emo vampire, do you know that?

EDWARD CULLEN : Oh, just you wait.

ACT THREE

The ANGEL INVESTIGATIONS team solve cases and save lives while tangling with an EVIL LAW FIRM named WOLFRAM & HART . These are the guys who have brought DARLA back from the dead and are ensuring she gives ANGEL naughty dreams. The two main players at WOLFRAM & HART are LINDSEY MCDONALD and LILAH MORGAN.

LINDSEY : I’m evil but I’m also conflicted.

LILAH : I’m evil but I’m also conflicted.

LINDSEY : We should get together.

LILAH : Naw. I’ve got my eye on that Wesley guy.

LINDSEY : Yeah, and I think Darla’s a hottie.

LILAH : It’s a pity, though. We’d make a good couple.

LINDSEY : Wanna play with my fake hand for a while?

WOLFRAM & HART are dastardly and corrupt. This is a theme that continues throughout the entire series.

JOSS WHEDON : Lawyers are more evil than any supernatural creature ever. See how I like to reflect real life in my shows?

ANGEL : Er, I’m sleeping with my mother. Please don’t say that.

ACT FOUR

ANGEL eventually goes a bit MAD because of the whole DARLA THING . He fires his team and BROODS even more than usual.

CORDELIA : Let’s set up our own firm! At least then we won’t have to deal with Broody McBroodyson.

WESLEY : I don’t think we’ll do very well without having a vampire to protect us. [Gets shot by a zombie cop.] I rest my case. Also, ow.

Meanwhile, ANGEL has BROODED HIMSELF INTO A CORNER . He ends up SLEEPING WITH DARLA in real life. This leads to him having an EPIPHANY . [And no, that’s not a euphemism for anything rude.]

ANGEL : I’ve realised the error of my ways! I’ve sunk so low the only way is up! I must reunite with my team and tell them how sorry I am for being such an ass!

CORDELIA : Oh, it’s you. Why are you apologising all of a sudden?

ANGEL : I had an epiphany.

CORDELIA : Ew, gross. And wasn’t it with your mother? Ew, grosser!

ANGEL : It’s not a euphemism.

WESLEY : It bloody well is.

GUNN : Damn straight.

CORDELIA : That’s so icky.

ANGEL : Chill out! It’s not like I got her pregnant or anything!

CONNOR : Oh, just you wait.

ACT FIVE

DARLA teams up with CRAZY DIPPY VAMPIRE DRUSILLA . They go on a RAMPAGE , kill lots of WOLFRAM & HART lawyers and, er, GO SHOPPING . ANGEL sends them packing.

ANGEL : Right, that’s the vampire threat out of the way! Now to deal with those lawyers...

LINDSEY : I cut my hair and lost my evil mojo. I need to go off, grow it again and come back eviller. Bye!

ANGEL : Wait, we’re only two-thirds of the way through our season and all our main antagonists have left! What now?

LORNE : Hello, I’m green and sing karaoke and come from an alternate dimension. Fancy exploring it with me?

ANGEL : WICKED!

ACT SIX

The ANGEL INVESTIGATIONS team get up to all sorts of nonsense on the world of PYLEA where HUMANS are slaves and VAMPIRES can wander around in daylight.

ANGEL : Wow, now I can see myself properly in a mirror I’ve realised how much hair gel I use! No wonder Spike made fun of me! Also, I wear way too much black for my complexion.

LORNE : Try having green skin, honey. Now that’s difficult.

They find a SLIGHTLY INSANE WOMAN named FRED living in a cave.

WESLEY : You’re kind of adorable. [Covets her]

GUNN : Isn’t she just? [Covets her]

FRED : Can I go home now? Wibble! [Is oblivious to male attention]

ANGEL : Hmm, I wonder if this could be a love triangle in a future season...

CORDELIA : Look, I snagged myself a burly warrior named Groo!

ANGEL : Good for you! And, unlike our friends, this won’t result in a love triangle because we don’t fancy each other. Wouldn’t that be awkward?

CORDELIA : Can you imagine that?

ANGEL : Ha ha ha!

CORDELIA : Ha ha ha!

JOSS WHEDON : Wait a minute, I’m getting an idea... [Does the dance of joy]

ANGEL : Let’s go home. I’m feeling quite happy and jolly.

They go home. They find WILLOW waiting for them with the news that BUFFY is DEAD .

ANGEL : Engaging ‘brood’ mode.

CORDELIA : Oh well, back to normal! But at least your hair looks better now.
ENDS .

Script by Jayne Nelson.

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