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RPG Emo-Off

You know the type: spiky hair, sad eyes, too many belt buckles in his ensemble to count. You might meet one or two of these guys in fighting games, or starring in a Prince of Persia sequel; more often than not, you’ll see them wangsting their hearts out in a sprawling Japanese RPG epic. 


Above: Take your pick, they’re all the same 

Why so emo? There are tons of excuses, such as “My girlfriend/wife/child/puppy died,” or “My village burned/sunk/froze,” and let’s not forget “I can’t find the door to this world... or my heart.”

But who is the most emo? Who has the most cause to mope around in a huge trench coat, muttering to himself and sighing compulsively? Read on as we pair off the angstiest, whiniest, saddest boys and girls of JPRGs and find out which one trumps them all.

Warning! Spoilers for the following…
Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy IX, Final Fantasy X-2, Eternal Sonata, Final Fantasy VIII, Kingdom Hearts, Tales of Vesperia, Tales of Symphonia, Lost Odyssey, Persona 3


Games: Final Fantasy VII & Final Fantasy VIII

You knew this day would come. Two of Square Enix’s heavy-hitters in the heartbreak department meet to compare tales of woe. Here’s how they stack up:

 

 

Squall

Above: (Am I… alone?)

Cloud

Above: What about my pain?

Winner: Cloud – because you can’t top a dead girlfriend.

51 comments

  • Gurkogg - May 24, 2011 4:10 a.m.

    You can be depressed and no one around you may notice it, but if you are emo you make sure everyone around you notices it (I think that may be the difference).
  • Tommykrem - July 21, 2010 6:36 p.m.

    its not it's! What is happening to me, mein führer!?
  • Tommykrem - July 21, 2010 6:35 p.m.

    Been, not bin! I don't know how German made it's way into that comment! I swear I have no connections to SS.
  • Tommykrem - July 21, 2010 6:31 p.m.

    @BlackKraken If you're emo you very clearly express your depression. Something a lot of teenagers do to get attention... And perhaps some grown-ups, though it's more common among teenagers since the depression that a lot of people get during puberty, is in stark contrast to the happy, jolly days as a child, so therefore a lot of teenagers have problems coping with their depression (isolate themselves and such), or they can't cope with the depression (suicide) or they cope with it in an alternative way (by being openly emotional = emo, or going on a killing spree) So you can be depressed without being emo. Actually I'd go as far as saying that most people who suffer from depression aren't emo. Now let's just wait for a kid to reply: "You don't understand how it is" oh, go fudge yourself. I too have bin on a killing spree and know how it is.
  • ImAliveOMG - July 20, 2010 10:31 p.m.

    Umm, I think you might not understand a good part of the definiton of emo. You have some of the basics covered but you could kind of use an update. Take a trip to Urban Dictionary
  • D0CCON - March 3, 2010 3:14 a.m.

    100 percent agree. Cloud is the opposite of Cecil, Cecil being non-annoying and mature and all of that.
  • craigkiller - October 16, 2009 6:43 p.m.

    Aw, where's he suicidal guy for Fallout 3? D= The guy from Rivet City ;_;
  • onewingedantista - October 12, 2009 5:46 p.m.

    @ jakery22: I hope ur joking.
  • onewingedantista - October 12, 2009 5:44 p.m.

    lol Genesis, so true. btw, all his cutscenes sound better in japanese, when you can't understand what he's saying. in english, it sounds so trite.
  • KHfan - October 22, 2008 7:10 p.m.

    ansems not emo he's just a lil messed up in the head go squall!
  • JTFLEX - October 18, 2008 9:28 p.m.

    squall is the winner cuz i hate him cloud is awesome
  • krunkattack - October 17, 2008 9:46 p.m.

    wow.. that's some emo stuff! Nice summaries
  • RandomSamurai13 - October 17, 2008 8:17 p.m.

    Wait, at the end the article says that a guy called Gackt wins, but I thought that was Genesis..
  • AFilthyIbis - October 17, 2008 5:41 a.m.

    Wow. somwhere in Squalls video(3:45) there's a bit that looks like mario kart!
  • EvilZeus - October 17, 2008 3:21 a.m.

    i think Squall wins the first one simply because you can see his sadness in full 3D, including the subtle tears crossing his fully animated face, whereas Cloud always looks like a happy little balloonshaped man....
  • BuggattiFreak - October 17, 2008 12:24 a.m.

    Must kill the emo's.
  • Juriasu - October 16, 2008 5:33 p.m.

    XD
  • xXgodlypunkXx - October 16, 2008 4:42 p.m.

    EMOS ROCK!! sweet emoness
  • Cybermaster - October 16, 2008 3:10 p.m.

    No Neku besides the first picture? Boo. TWEWY FTW.
  • Comatose92 - October 16, 2008 3:07 p.m.

    lol, "and the winner is... Clou-! Wait, scratch that. Genesis!" Cloud: "WTF?"

Showing 1-20 of 51 comments

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