Real activities that never should've become games

Have you ever wanted to be really gruff and a little bit frightening without actually having to grow a beard, build up a considerable potbelly and slap a McCain/Palin sticker on your car? Well, there are games for that (most of them published by Cabela’s). Or maybe you’ve always dreamed of being a celebrity dog trainer? A curling champion? A gardener? Any of this sound appealing? Well, there are games for them. Apparently no one told these publishers that games are supposed to be about stuff people want to do... like fighting bikini-wearing alien dominatrices.

The draw of fishing, at least for the average, non-competitive weirdo, is the experience. It’s about chilling by the lake with a cooler full of adult beverages and no women around to ask you if they look fat. At least, that's what fishing is to me. You can’t simulate that.

And fishing should definitely never involve grinning goofily while bouncing around on a boat like one of those inflatable punching clown things.


Curling is the sport you make snide comments about when it comes on between the good events at the Winter Olympics - you're meant to forget about it as soon as a real sport starts. It’s basically an extreme version of what old people do on their old-people cruise ships - "extreme” because it involves ice, and brittle hips and slippery surfaces can lead to extremely painful lawsuits.

But yes, if you really want to, you can experience the thrill of sliding things across ice even when the Olympics aren’t on.

Above: We question the accuracy of this simulation - what's with all the people in the bleachers?

Have you ever played, or even heard of, a good truck driving game? I haven’t. Oddly enough, I enjoy driving fast cars, not cumbersome big-rigs. After you’re about 7-years-old your attraction to large vehicles with a lot of big wheels should begin to diminish at a sharp curve. If it doesn't, you may end up looking like this and not being very funny:

Not only have I never heard of a good truck driving game, the only notable truck game I know of is notable because of its awfulness. Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing has been described by many as being worse than a variety of unpleasant sounding enemas. Just look:

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  • KEEPFROMFREEZIN - October 26, 2008 11:41 p.m.

    woah i think i wanted to get big rig when i was younger....=O
  • derringer83 - October 24, 2008 10:22 p.m.

    noofer7... the problem is that it plays like suck. and looks like suck. which basically means it is suck. other than that, nothing.
  • noofer7 - October 24, 2008 2:44 p.m.

    WTF was wrong with the big rigs game?!
  • GamesRadarTylerWilde - October 23, 2008 9:31 p.m.

    @MacGyver1138: Sometimes we lack sleep. Thanks for catching that.
  • lava_lamp - October 23, 2008 8:28 p.m.

    I remember when i first saw the cover for mamma can i mow the lawn, my friend and just started laughing for like 10-min. That game would be horrible but i would get it just for the laughs.
  • smileykyley - October 23, 2008 8:23 p.m.

    WOOOOOOOO! Im cancelling my preorder for fallout 3, COD WAW, and GEARS2 for Deadliest Catch!!!! No, but it's still a great show!
  • Xplosive59 - October 23, 2008 5:27 p.m.

    seriously these kinda games dont even deserve to even be in the bargain bin more like the sub-bargain bin
  • Juriasu - October 23, 2008 4:52 p.m.

    Hilarious, as always, to see Big Rigs!
  • MacGyver1138 - October 23, 2008 4:22 p.m.

    In the description of the Deadliest Catch game, I think you meant to type "frigid," rather than frigged. Unless you were using that in place of the dreaded "F" word. In which case, nevermind. I always wondered why so many games like this exist. I would rather stare at the wall than play any of these.
  • sage62 - October 23, 2008 2:42 a.m.

    kicking222: a better name for curling is "extreme sweeping on ice" and is indeed a very boring sport as most non-old people would agree, in regards to the feature, I totally agree on all of these things
  • Z-man427 - October 23, 2008 2:03 a.m.

    "Sorry cycling fans, but your sport is boring unless you're the one riding the damn bike." once again, Tyler finds a way to say what we all think anytime we hear Lance Armstrong or Ball Cancer
  • kicking222 - October 22, 2008 11:58 p.m.

    Curling is amazing. Do NOT dis curling, GamesRadar. And no, I'm not joking.
  • benjitenji - October 22, 2008 7:35 p.m.

    its my first first, so anyway, i have 2 things to add to this list, 1. poopin repair.
  • MW3M - October 26, 2008 6:50 p.m.

    Curling is phenemonal sport when your under the influence...
  • CandiedJester - October 25, 2008 3:02 a.m.

    Well those all look incredibally bland. Who comes up with these ideas anyway? Except for the gardening one. I'd totally kick that snails ass.
  • oreomonkey - October 24, 2008 10:27 p.m.

    forget call of duty im going to the store and getting big rigs and when they tell me it cost $10 im saying no way this game is so great that im going to just give $60 just becuz of the amazazinging quality
  • RaIdEn - October 23, 2008 11:16 p.m.

    Come on Nintendo get your head in the game! Fishing? Are you FREAKIN' kidding me?
  • georgeguy - October 23, 2008 10:53 p.m.

    look up "crap" n the dictionary and you will find a picture of these games nice artical GR
  • jamboy199three - October 23, 2008 6:33 p.m.

    btw i was joking
  • jamboy199three - October 23, 2008 6:33 p.m.

    Mamma Can I Mow the Lawn sounds quality i was gonna get far cry 2 but now im getting this