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72 comments

  • helterskeltersurema - February 25, 2014 12:21 a.m.

    What was the title of the game in number 20?
  • virofglacies - November 19, 2013 7:07 a.m.

    The Casino Royale ending: Shepard faces the Reapers in a poker tournament. After losing all his chips he puts up the Normandy and plays a brilliant, incredibly lucky hand to win all the Reapers borrowed cash. The Reapers are destroyed by a shadow organization that had been funding them.
  • BazM38 - July 18, 2013 8:05 a.m.

    I think that Shepard should have just woken up in the rubble went into the beam and was placed in cryo just like Javik, in order to travel into the future where the reaper where actually created by a being in dark space to stop the spread of dark matter like the original ending, Shepard must assemble a new team to rewrite the future and past! DAMN I'M GOOD!
  • neil-cloonan - April 11, 2012 12:26 p.m.

    Mass Effect 1 ending: Everyone realizes Shepard was right, and they all shoot themselves... Reapers and all. Except Harbinger, who then resurrects everyone because everyone was secretly indoctrinated. Shepard is forced to fight the entire galaxy. The Sopranos Ending: The Catalyst lists all of the possible choices Shepard could make with the weapon. Shepard ponders for a moment, the game fades to black. Back to the Future Ending: As Shepard decides the fate of the war, Joker suddenly shows up in the Normandy, which is now fitted with a Kassa Fabrication Mr. Fusion. He informs you that your choice has serious implications, forcing you to travel to the future for no discernible reason in order to stop an event from occurring, despite the logical approach of choosing differently. Something goes wrong AGAIN, and you end up playing a demo for a Bioware game set in the American West. Also, Joker has a time train for whatever purpose.
  • weegeemen - April 6, 2012 12:11 a.m.

    Halo 2 Ending: Same but instead of explosion just cut to black then credits.
  • LEGOMatrix - April 5, 2012 12:53 p.m.

    The Vanilla Sky ending, where Shepard wakes up two hundred years later and realises that everything that happened after he died at the beginning of mass effect was an elaborate fantasy created by his subconscious. Then he really has to save the galaxy from the reapers!
  • buckboutit - April 2, 2012 9:02 p.m.

    Step Brothers Ending: Shepard and the Reapers start talking, and it turns out they are both into night vision goggles and karate. The Reapers decide not to destroy the galaxy because there will be so much more room for activities.
  • XCVGVCX - March 30, 2012 8:32 a.m.

    Lost City ending: Shepard's search eventually leads her to download yet more really old information not designed for humans into her head. After blabbering a lot of nonsense, they take the Normandy and head to a planet decimated by volcanic eruptions- consumed in fire. On the planet is an ancient outpost, which she enters, says "Terra Atlantus", then they run like hell before the place caves in on them. After that, Joker asks why the hell they went all the way out there if it was on Earth all along, and she shows him a small crystalline cylinder. They head back to the besieged Earth and start drilling through the ice in Antarctica, defended by the rest of the fleet. After breaching the outpost (which is suspiciously not Atlantis), suddenly bright yellow missiles start swarming from the area and rip the Reapers to shreds. The dying Shepard puts herself in a fortuitously placed stasis pod with the last words, "Aveo, amacus." Or there's always the DLC Quest ending or the simple Crash To Desktop.
  • jenovalife1 - March 29, 2012 11:44 p.m.

    Broke Back Mountain Ending Shepard has sex with tali, gives her aids, puts her in a capsule and shoots her at the reapers, they contract a rogue virus form of aids and die, and shepard dies of sadness and aids.
  • bryan-clyne - March 26, 2012 noon

    Heres one I made up that I actually think is good (yes, I noticed the sarcasm in this article): Shepard makes it through to the beam, Illusive Man is already inside, waiting for him. They talk, as could be expected and all this time Shepard is actually being indoctrinated by Harbinger and the Illusive Man is really just distracting him. Shepard kills the Illusive Man and proceeds to try and activate the crucible (but because he is indoctrinated, he is unknowingly sabotaging it). Now, (enter twist) Anderson shows up, claiming Shepard is indoctrinated. After a dramatic speech, you are left with two options, one paragon, one renegade. The paragon option results in you trying to convince Anderson that you are trying to stop the reapers, and Anderson shoots you, followed by him undoing the sabotage and activating the crucible. Thus, the Reapers are stopped. The renegade option consists of you shooting Anderson, followed by you 'activating' the crucible, then watching in confusion as it is destroyed and you realize that Anderson was right and the Reapers win.
  • bahcmf21 - March 22, 2012 10:19 p.m.

    Troll 2 ending: Anderson turns out to be Sheperd's recently deceased grandpa. Sheperd manages to destroy a rock that powers the reapers, killing all of them. After escaping Nilbog with his family, his mother eats some funky food and turns into green goo, which is then eaten by reapers.
  • shneepsh - March 22, 2012 2:49 p.m.

    You know, now that I think about it, the sixth sense ending one might make sense if you killed your Shepard in the second game. He's imagining all of this happening when in fact it's really Joker doing all the work for him...or something.
  • wndem - March 21, 2012 6:27 p.m.

    Mass Grand Theft Auto Effect ending. Shepard gets the choice to kill the reapers which results in the head russian reaper dying and Shepard's female romance getting killed by the head italian reaper driving Shepard to go on a rampage and kill the rest of the reapers he apparently missed. Everyone is mildly sad and feels sorry for Shepard who would of scored with his female romance option if she survived that mission. Or Shepard could sell out to the reapers who betray him again which makes Shepard get angry that he made the wrong choice, shoot a ton of reapers in a warehouse and then go on a terrible truck chase to get his money. Shepard walks away rich and then Shepard's most obnoxious male romance option gets killed driving Shepard to get mildly annoyed and kill the rest of the reapers in a very similar mission to the other end mission which ends in the head reapers dying and everyone whining about your male romance choice dying and how much they are in denial over the fact that the only thing he did was bowl and yell about how much he likes boobies. Good article you guys!
  • Pwnz0r3d - March 21, 2012 4:59 p.m.

    Star Wars Prequels: Shepard turns into a living Linkin Park album and joins the Reaper cause with the Illusive Man as his mentor because his romantic interest is dying. He also doesn't like sand. Star Wars Originals: Shepard blows up the Harbinger. Jacob then flies the Normandy into a gaping hole in the Harbinger II to destroy its reactor core while FemShep and Joker fight on Earth. Earth's bear cub population destroys a Reaper with logs. Joker starts going out with FemShep who turns out to be DefaultShep's sister. Mario ending: Turns out Earth wasn't the planet the Reapers were supposed to do their rescue mission. Armageddon ending: Joker flies the Normandy into Harbinger, causing a chain reaction which destroys the entire Reaper fleet somehow. Transformers ending: Harbinger begins to attack The Catalyst somehow because he was tricked by Miranda into thinking he was being used, which causes Shepard to lose an arm and behead Harbinger (somehow) and beat the holy fuck out of The Catalyst (somehow). The American flag on fire flies behind Shepard as he gives a monologue about fire and flames and how it pertains to robots and earth.
  • viberunner - March 21, 2012 2:14 p.m.

    The Islamic Jihad Ending... Sheppard straps a bunch of explosives to himself before shooting dead some Jewish French school children.
  • BunkerRanger - March 21, 2012 1:24 a.m.

    The Doctor ending: London is attacked by reapers, by coincidence the doctor shows up, notices these reapers have crossed through the void to get back to the milky way, with the help of Shepard he then opens one of the last breaches in the void and all the reapers ever are sucked in, never to return. The Doctor would be played by david tennant of course.
  • einhazard - March 24, 2012 12:41 a.m.

    I think you mean Tom Baker...
  • dougcfoster - March 20, 2012 3:50 p.m.

    The Usual Suspects ending: All the reapers except for Harbinger are dead. Bailey is interrogating Shepard in the C-Sec offices about the war. The interview ends. As Shepard walks away he slowly changes into Harbinger. Cut to Bailey in the C-Sec offices slowly realizing...
  • dougcfoster - March 20, 2012 3:48 p.m.

    The Usual Suspects Ending: All the reapers except Harbinger are dead. Shepard is being debriefed by Bailey in C-Sec offices about the war. As he walks out of C-Sec, he slowly changes into Harbinger. Cut to Captain Bailey slowly realizing...
  • WTeen8 - March 19, 2012 3:08 p.m.

    Mega Man 4 Ending: Shepard shoots a bunch a reapers getting to the master reaper who is in a giant robot suit. He blows the robot suit and the reaper jumps up and begs from forgiveness. He then gets up leaves and flies away in his annoying UFO Pod, leaving shepard wondering what the heck just happened.

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