Sigh... Look, we aren't mad at you Sunshine. Just disappointed. Maybe it's our fault for expecting another Mario 64, when instead we got a postcard from your fun if not ground-breaking summer vacation. The main letdown of the game was F.L.U.D.D., the stupid water pump strapped to your back. It and short sleeves are not the best look for you honey, and we think you knew it. That's why everything changed again in Galaxy.
Above: It brings Mario down to remember this game
Ahh, that's more like it. Galaxy was both a reinvention and a restoration for Mario. It was an insanely huge adventure with an equally insane plethora of new game mechanics, but it also had the return of suit based power-ups. We'll start with the Bee Suit, Mario's main way to fly in the game. While it looks a tad silly compared to the Raccoon or the cape, we celebrate its buzzy goodness.
Not unlike the Hammer Bros suit, dressing like a Boo has a rebellious quality as you become your enemy. Still, Boos aren't near as interesting as the Hammer boys, and you can kind of tell when you get the power-up.
Not so much a suit as an encumbrance, the spring is like modern couture one would see in Milan during fashion week. It's just as avant garde in its looks and impracticality. Mario is scared to even wear it, which makes him a pretty poor model.
Unlocked late in Galaxy, this look takes Mario back to the palette swap where his fashion journey began. But instead of the heat of white and red, Mario's hat and overalls become black, giving him an emo look. We like to think that despite being free as a bird with his new found flight, Mario feels empty, having gotten to the height of his powers, and starts to dress all goth.
Probably the first spin-off with his name in the title, Mario gained a doctorate and decided to don a lab coat and stethoscope. Like all good doctors, Mario knew just how to fight sickness: by overwhelming it with hundreds of pills.
Above: Peach goes from being a princess to a nurse?
But don't think that one new job connected to a puzzler can satisfy Mario. Not long after, in the underrated NES game Yoshi's Cookie, Mario became a chef, making dozens and dozens of confections for his dino-pal.
Mario has done a fair share of golfing in the last ten years, but he only really dressed up for this NES title. As you can see from the cover, he's celebrating America while hitting a mole with a golf club, like every good patriot.
While the mouse that came included with Mario Paint never saw much action in the US, there were several Japan-only games that used it, one of them being Mario & Wario. Wario, who looks freakishly huge in this game, sticks a blinding bucket on Mario's head, and you, as the mouse-controlled pixie, direct him through mazes. We like to imagine he wore that bucket while helping Axl Rose complete Chinese Democracy.
At the time of Mario's first soccer title on the GameCube, it was normal for him and his cronies to play baseball, golf and tennis in their normal clothes. But on the pitch, as opposed to when go-cart racing, Mario wears the necessary safety equipment. And by the time Nintendo released the Wii sequel, Mario was looking quite stylized for such a dopey, fat cherub.
Wrecking Crew's claim to fame is that it was the first original Mario title for the NES. And other than the image of Mario trading in his standard topper for a hardhat, the pseudo-puzzler and its Japan-only sequel Wrecking Crew '98 are pretty forgettable. But we like seeing Mario get even more blue-collar.
Do you dare continue to the next page to see the most obscure of "official" Mario costumes? (Our advice: dare!)