If videogame hardware was dug up in a thousand years

Let's face it, archaeologists are full of it. "See those small walls? Right, that was a kitchen where the king of Wales used to eat dodo eggs. Whole." Thing is, nobody can disprove it because they weren't there. So what would archaeologists of the future say if they dug up today's gaming peripherals? Let's step into the future and take a look:



Date: February 18, 3011 AD

Homo-sapiens died out in 2012AD after a magnetic pole reversal had an unexpected EMP effect on the then-established global communication network, believed by many to have been called 'teh interwebs'. Civil unrest ensued when the previously socially inactive citizens were forced to communicate face to face. The resulting epidemic of awkwardness kick-started a daisy chain of social revulsion, which eventually led to full-blown nuclear war. The planet was wiped clean and, after the fallout had dissipated, our forefathers emerged from the fallout shelters. They were sadly mutated by the radiation that covered the land, which is why we no longer call ourselves homo-sapiens, but the brave children of our illustrious forefathers began rebuilding the world into the society we know today.

Almost all physical history books had been converted into digital data by the time the war began, and with the communications network destroyed, very little is known about how this ancient civilisation functioned. Fortunately, archaeological finds have given us a few pieces of the jigsaw puzzle. This is what we are exhibiting today, so please take your time and try to imagine yourself as one of the people who used these ancient devices.


18 Feb, 2011

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  • ScrEAMaPiLLar - February 21, 2011 9:40 a.m.

    Just one thing. Civilization is how it is spelled. Not Civilisation.
  • Spybreak8 - February 21, 2011 9:35 a.m.

    Future civilizations find the Superscope and think it's a primitive rocket launcher since their rocket launchers use lasers too. ^^ Also this reminded me of Futurama when Fry was like that's not what that was, I was from the 21st Century lol.
  • Nintygameplayerperson - February 21, 2011 3:11 a.m.

    @jackthemenace I'm 14 and even I know that's the N64 Expansion Pak which is required for games like DK64. I wonder what people will say when they find a Kinect...
  • majorsuave - February 20, 2011 5:36 p.m.

    Bah, a futuristic society would probably have microscopes strong enough to actually see the porn on the cd and then conclude that this was normal homo-sapiens behavior.
  • NightCrawler_358 - February 20, 2011 5:35 a.m.

    haha I liked how your apocolypse story had bits of 2012, MW2, Fallout, and X-men all thrown into one big epic explanation. Also, at least they won't get it all wrong, I mean the PSP is used mostly as a paper weight.
  • IceBlueKirby - February 19, 2011 1:43 p.m.

    Haha, great stuff. I liked the R.O.B. one and the Expansion Pak one. Still, "wii-wii" was funny too.
  • philipshaw - February 19, 2011 1:23 p.m.

    Good feature and I had a to lol at the last entry
  • FauxFurry - February 19, 2011 8:59 a.m.

    What would these Pikmin-ninnies think of the Nintendo Zapper or similar Light Gun peripherals? Perhaps they would see them as deadly weapons of awesome power placed in the hands of children to play with, making it obvious why the world fell into such an advanced state of disarray that the crisis of 2012 would even be possible? You know, like Fox the future! Only in a such a scenario as the one put forward by this article could Fox News ever be considered futuristic.
  • Crimmy - February 19, 2011 6:56 a.m.

    PSP one was hilarious, good job Justin.
  • Fr00b - February 19, 2011 4:47 a.m.

    what was the "cheesegrader" again?
  • SenorHurt - February 19, 2011 1:08 a.m.

    Very funny indeed. This sorta thing is why I keep coming to the site. Jeers!
  • FlamelordZ - February 18, 2011 11:09 p.m.

    Funny article. I hate to say it though, but the solar flare's coming. This could happen... >.>
  • BishopofHippo93 - February 18, 2011 10:25 p.m. mentions homo-sapiens a number of times. Who's the dominant species now, homo-superior?
  • gopikmin - February 18, 2011 10:23 p.m.

    who says robots will rule the earth in the future. I believe it will be a superpower wielding overlord that may/may not be just with an army of inter-dimensional drones. This article is still entertaining
  • DonNatzi - February 18, 2011 9:53 p.m.

    does this remind anybody else of Pikmin treasures?
  • gamingfreak - February 18, 2011 9:41 p.m.

    How can you have a nuclear war if all technology was wiped out by an EMP wave?
  • 510BrotherPanda - February 18, 2011 9:33 p.m.

    I'm sad that Justin has to take over part of Meik's "silly article" writing duties...*SIGH*
  • Larinah - February 18, 2011 9:32 p.m.

    Justin, you=my hero. This article made my day. Kudos to you good sir!
  • GreenLeader - February 18, 2011 8:06 p.m.

    @ Nodoudt Rofl... So true. Love the article, guys.
  • RushLight - February 18, 2011 8:05 p.m.

    I always imagined if Pokemon was uncovered up a 1000 years from now they'd think its some big widespread religion... and Pikachu was the head god or something.

Showing 1-20 of 42 comments

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