How to make Lara Croft more family friendly

We've made a Lara for every member of the family

Grandad's Lara is a proper lady. Of course she has to be mindful of her skirt in those damp catacombs, so every once in a while you might just catch a glimpse of petticoat. Or ankle! (gasp) But don't go getting any ideas about taking liberties with her kneesduring a date to the pictures- she's packing a flintlock in that holster. A much-neededaction heroine for the crustier generation, this is the real 'Lady' Croft.

Dad's Lara is everything a red-blooded man could want. Check out those pouting, collagen-enhanced lips; those seductive curves and thattinylittletop. She's worthy of any lads' mag. But look - she's also making you breakfast and bringing you beer. Next she'll be deliberately switching over to watch the football.

Finally, there's Mum's Lara. She's been brought up with confidence to believe she can beat Indiana Jones at his own game, but if she's going to doit then she can at least be safe. So elbow and knee pads are in, as is a crash helmet and a scarf. And even daring archaeologists need to eat properly, so she's got her old packed lunch box from school filled with a banana, Penguin bar and some nice sandwiches. Made with brown bread. And she has to eat the crusts, or there'll be hell to pay.

23 Jan, 2009


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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

The longest-serving GR+ staffer, I was here when all this was just fields. I'm currently Reviews Editor but still find time to speedrun Sonic levels and make daft Photoshop articles.
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