Ever since Super Mario Kart made the genre, gamers have been slowly choking on the mammoth amount of mascot kart racing games. Everyone from the Smurfs, Buzz Lightyear and even the Burger King have graced us with driving around in tiny cars. But even with all this history of cheesy go-karts driven by toys, no game has ever starred dolls you can buy in the lobby of Wal-Mart for 25 cents.
Breaking that barrier is Homie Rollerz, a game that presupposes that if you would spend quarters to own the little guys this game is based on, you would pay thirty dollars to race around with them on the DS. How could you say no when you see all these wonderful and non-stereotypical characters from the game? Below is a press release describing all of them, from an alien homeboy to a living chili pepper and a zombie named Zombie (perhaps the wittiest name of the roster). We didn’t write these bios – they came straight from the developer - we are merely the messengers of their glory.
SPOILER WARNING: Unlockable Characters revealed below!
Homie Rollerz Bios
Mac Daddy is an Old School Playa from the Seventies. At one time he was known from New York and Chicago, to L.A. and Oakland. Now he is just an Icon to himself. He still rolls around the hood in his tricked out ride. You know...the one with an Opera Window in it. It’s pearl white, and done up with lime green angel-hair on the dash and three tip sidepipes running down the sides. The landau half-top roof has a diamond window on the back and a sunroof top. Yep...he be cruising the scene with a Playa lean.
Home Track – New York
El Chilote, meaning “the big chile,” is the official logo character for the restaurant belonging to Gordo the Chef. He is a legendary chili in that he has a long history in Mexican American culture. He rode with legendary icons in Chicano history like Joaquin Murieta, Gregorio Cortez and Tiburcio Vasquez. El Chilote was instrumental in keeping their blood hot and enabling them to remain strong in the face of adversity. Originally born in the Chimayo valley on the outskirts of Española New Mexico, El Chilote comes from the purist line of chile seed. Extremely hot and flavorful, his seed is legendary in the Southwest.
Home Track – Fiesta Village
Gata is Hollywood’s main girlfriend. She has long, silky, shiny black hair that flows to her calves. She is always fussing with her hair and striking cosmopolitan looks and poses. She has eyes only for Hollywood. Gata has a good job as a designer for her own line of clothing called Homies “Chulawear.” She is always buying gifts for Hollywood and talking about him. Her friends and family warn her that he is a playboy, but she keeps going back to him anyway. Gata comes from a well-to-do family and was raised in private schools. She is the most sophisticated of the Homies girls and also the most street naive.
Home Track – Aztec Temple
Big Loco is one of the most hardcore-looking Homies but definitely a crowd favorite. His history is that he is an ex-gang member and did hard time in Folsom. Having gotten a degree in social work while in the joint, he is now employed as a youth counselor. Loco has extreme respect in the neighborhood and is gifted in the art of communicating with troubled youth. If you have ever seen a Chicano youth counselor, you will know that this is exactly what one looks like.
Home Track – Varrio Quien Sabe
Big Red runs the Chopper store called Biker Bros. Choppers. He is a famous bike customizer and has built bikes for various celebrities. Big Red is real close with Wolfe, the two of them are riding partners. Big Red claims he is a direct descendent of Leif Ericson the famous viking. Who knows...you can disagree with him if you want...just be ready to defend yourself. He`s pretty serious about the royal viking blood running through his veins. Other than the fact that he loves a good brawl now and then, Big Red is usually a pretty happy guy.
Home Track – Homie Beach