You can't play guitar. Sorry, dude, but we've heard you, and you can't. You see Eddie Van Halen on stage, rocking his way into guitar heaven and drinking his way into oblivion, and you want to be him (or at least, you wanted to be him back in 1984). But you ain't him, and you ain't never gonna be him. Best you can do is fork over $90 and pretend to be him in Guitar Hero II. And you know what? You won't be able to tell the difference. (Especially if you do the drinking part.)
Guitar Hero II has one simple goal: To make you feel like rock royalty. Most male power fantasies feature rocket launchers and plasma rifles; this one swaps the guns for guitars, and specifically, a guitar-shaped custom controller that's a mini-sized replica of a Gibson X-plorer. Strap it on, plug it in (sorry, it's got a USB cable - no wireless controller yet), turn it up and get your shred together. As the colored gems slide toward you on the screen, tap the matching colored button on your guitar controller's neck and strum the little lever in the guitar's body. Just add rhythm and you're a juke box hero. If you suck, don't worry; the healthy tutorial and practice modes will give you virtual lessons. At the highest of the four difficulty levels, you will need them.