Goat Simulator 2014 came out this week, giving gamers all over the world a chance to cause wanton destruction as a... goat. This, obviously, isn't how goats actually act, and our sister-site PC Gamer had a real-life goat farmer review the game for them to discuss exactly how unrealistic this game is. That's good, but not really enough. So we decided to go one step further. We found a real goat--a beautiful female named Butterball--and set her up with a copy of the game. As she played, we took notes, and the following is our direct transcription of her reactions, musings, and actions from her four-minutes with the game.