The original: In Donkey Kong 64, Tiny is the cute, happy-go-lucky little sister of Dixie Kong. She romps around in dungarees and a woolly hat, and looks about 3.
The redesign: By the time of her return in Diddy Kong Racing DS, Tiny is 'all grown-up', in exactly the kind of way that would prompt a six-month torrent of depressingly high-trafficking feature content from The Daily Mail. Slender, curvy, sporting the tiniest of crop tops, and now equipped with an unmistakable hint of furry ape-boobs, her official artwork also shows her bending suggestively over a tyre, like a cover model for Juiced 3: Nitro-Chimp Orgy. For God's sake, Rare, YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE GOOD GUYS. NOTHING IS NOW PURE. EVERYTHING IS CORRUPT. BURN THE EARTH AND START AGAIN, FOR THE HUMAN EXPERIMENT WAS A MISTAKE.
Seriously, pitching this feature was the worst mistake I've ever made. I'm done.