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I’ve been working on a little project for the last few months. It all started off as a simple, idealistic vision: to compile the largest database of hairy video game girls known to mankind. Sadly, I could only find a few entries. So seeing as I couldn’t be assed looking for anymore, I consigned the feature to the history books. Until now.
And before you ask, it was a conscious choice to leave out furry female animal vixens. If you want that sort of sick filth, click on this highly amusing and just about safe for work feature.
So without further ado, here's a not even slightly comprehensive list of hairy game girls.
Sporting the au naturel look in: Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty
Probably the most famous example of a game girl thinking 'f*ck the razor, I'm letting these bad boys grow.' Despite MGS2 being filled with terrorists, blood-sucking vampires and killer robots, the contents of Olga's armpits comfortably remain the scariest thing in Kojima's masterpiece.
Sporting the au naturel look in: Eh... Bayonetta
Yeah, you know that slinky suit is actually made up of Bayonetta's hairy scalp sprouts? Not only does the wicked witch's suit of hair look damn fashionable, it can also be used to summon demons...
We know she's essentially hairier than an Albanian sheep farmer, but you still would, yeah?
Sporting the au naturel look in: Final Fight
If you think this entry is a mistake, you should probably know that Final Fight's ass-kicking baddie is basically half dude or, what men in more civilised circles who swivel port around all day, might refer to as a hermaphrodite. And everyone knows all dudes have the occasional rogue back or nostrils hairs kicking about.
Above: You're welcome
Sporting the au naturel look in: Big Mutha Truckers
Oh God, no.
Oh dear God, no.
Oh sweet beardy Jebus, no. :(
July 22, 2010