• Valcrist - October 7, 2010 2:55 a.m.

    I think its a very funny article, and not just because the catholic church is mainstream it means we can´t make fun of it, I mean, its always funny as long as its not about your own? thats waaaay too childish.... Also loved the Xenu reference on the unitologists, hope THEY dont bring their demon-spawn-lawyers on you "The difference between cult and religion, is that the former is what you call the beliefs of others, and the later are your own" someone once said
  • D0CCON - October 7, 2010 2:41 a.m.

    Top two things a gaming website should NEVER talk about: Religion Politics (Republican vs. Democrat politics, not the Supreme Court case on video games politics) Congratulations are breaking one of the unwritten laws. Crumbdunky says it best. PS: I'm guessing I just fed the troll. It's weird to think that a GR writer is a troll, but it still feels that way.
  • Hurricrane - October 7, 2010 2:27 a.m.

    I'm so happy you made fun of catholocism, Thanks Mr. Sterling!
  • acehard - October 7, 2010 1:58 a.m.

    correction: a cult is a deviation from existing religion, ie mormans and jehovas witnesses who branch off of christianity. most of those are actually full blown religions. we wouldnt call islam a cult cuz that would be stupid, original=religion... but its a common ignorant noob mistake
  • Jamahl - October 7, 2010 1:49 a.m.

    Excuse me gonna nerd out here. The Covenant's religion was based around wanting to get the forrunner artifacts to become more powerful, and to start the great journey. They actually did think the humans were standing in the way of that, and were misguided to the very end. So they're kinda more tragic than the article makes it seem. Also, they controlled more advanced technology than anyone else in the universe and were comprised of millions (possibly billions, grunts breed really fast) of species. So not really a cult.
  • FauxFurry - October 7, 2010 1:39 a.m.

    The only things that I find remotely offensive about this article is the use of the "Believes" in place of "Beliefs" in the opening statement and the omission of the cult of Carpainter from Earthbound. A bunch of New-Age Retro-Hippies painting the town blue! Does more truly need to be said? If you ever do an article on the most ineffectual videogame cults, the Cult of Shadows (pre-player character interaction) from Fable 2 ought to be shoe-ins for inclusion. It's more of a social club for bored rich people than anything else. That does sound a bit familiar. On the flipside,for most reasonable videogame religions,anything having to do with Okami's version of Shintoism (not only is Ammy a god who gets things done personally,one would have to be a demon or something to dislike her,not that she ever threatens anyone with smiting for not doing so,despite her power being directly tied to her followers' faith. No,she has to earn it!) or the cult of 'Insert Name Here' for Black or White (a god who goes for the hands-on approach rather than delegating that to priests,whether it be to deliver mana from Heaven or tossing the unfaithfull into the drink, is always warms the heart without the need for Hellfire) or the God's avatar from ActRaiser (leaving the dirty work up to one's fan club makes one less all-powerful than Mickey Mouse). Is "febbins Petrocelli" the guy from the Roman Catholic Church who'll want to have a word with you,Jim? Is reCAPTCHA some kind of computerized prophet? There's an idea for a stupid cult related to videogames (or gamesites)!
  • AlpineGuy - October 7, 2010 1:37 a.m.

    Totally agree with JohnDagger, where's the love for Dead Rising's Raincult? Also, the bit at the end was hilarious...and ballsy!
  • soccerclownking - October 7, 2010 1:34 a.m.

    What about the Cult of Andraste in Dragon Age Origins? They seemed pretty wacky to me.
  • ichigoame - October 7, 2010 1:30 a.m.

    what? no epsilon?
  • Crimmy - October 7, 2010 1:12 a.m.

    Indeed, it is a good thing these are only in videogames. Also, that's the most detailed in-game pic I've ever seen (the last one).
  • reveffect - October 7, 2010 12:54 a.m.

    loved this article. kinda didnt notice how cults tend to make a pretty frequent appearance in video games. i can think of a few more but meh im lazy. the last one didnt really bother me since i think it was really intended as a joke and not as a stab at the religion. oh yeah the saturnine are in bioshock 1. i dont know if they appear in 2 but in 1 they show up in the garden park like level (i dont remember the name of it) right after atlus fakes the death of his fake family to give the player the assumption that they are helping atlus kill ryan for a good cause when really its all mind control which is why i love the big plot twist towards the end (oh yeah and dont call spoiler on me cause the game has been out long enough for a sequal and a reimagining, if you can call it that, in the form of bioshock infinite so you have had plenty of time to buy the game and play it through). anyways in the garden lvl the saturnine are the splicers who through fire and can teleport.
  • InstantTitKill - October 7, 2010 12:20 a.m.

    I do not understand how there can be this much butthurt over the last paragraph in this article. It was obviously just a joke which fit perfectly with the rest of the article. If Jim intended the last paragraph to be a serious critisism of Catholism he would probably had assaulted the religions numerous faults in a fact-based and adult manner. Jim is a clever guy, and perfectly capable of such a simple task. Such a text, though enjoiable to a certain extent, just wouldn't have been as funny. It would also have felt missplaced in an article that was only meant to entertain and inform (about video games, not religion). So please quit bitching and just respect the fact that this man is just trying to entertain us, even if it isn't funny to you.
  • DarkPaladin - October 7, 2010 12:18 a.m.

    Where's the Blue cult from Earthbound? *grabs his paintbrush*
  • J-spit - October 7, 2010 12:18 a.m.

    ZING! Take that Catholics!
  • therawski - October 6, 2010 11:58 p.m.

    I feel like a lot of people never actually did any research into what actually happened in history as a result of religious beliefs, like the crusades really did happen (not W's), the spanish inquisition really did happen (not Mel Brooks'), Dante's Inferno had A LOT of creative license (the game not the poem) I'm just hoping the readers that didn't understand will some day get it.
  • ComradeKhani - October 6, 2010 11:54 p.m.

    your about get a jihad put on you, just sayin.
  • 2cute2Bcruel - October 6, 2010 11:50 p.m.

    The Silent Hill cult is just too much. I eagerly anticipate the day when one of the games lets you scorch their asses, kind of like how the different cult in the SH movie did.
  • AnonymouZ - October 6, 2010 11:48 p.m.

    If i was a space marine who believed a 10" emperor was still alive after thousands of years, and kills every xenon i meet because i must, because the emperor woulda liked it... then that's a crazy cult too.
  • Twizinator - October 6, 2010 11:41 p.m.

    haha, I'm Lutheran and the last one made me laugh. "people get sent there to suffer for all eternity just for being a slut or wanting to eat too many pies."
  • Stahlbrand - October 6, 2010 11:16 p.m.

    Hilarious. Great stuff. The Covenant one was the winner of the bunch.

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