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Games summed up in 5 words

In Hollywood, any movie whose premise can be described in five or fewer words is (ironically) called “high concept.” And as much as we love videogames, let’s face it: by those standards, most of them are pretty damned high-concept. That’s part of what makes them fun. And in a celebration of that fun, we’ve randomly selected 94 different games and summed up their entire premises (or just something instantly recognizable about them) in exactly five words.

Got it? Enough blather. Games in five words GO!

Contributors: Mikel Reparaz, Brett Elston, Eric Bratcher, Michael Grimm, Charlie Barratt

Blast Corps: Dump truck on the moon.


Above: It’s true!

Super Mario Bros.: Can’t jump over the flagpole.

Resident Evil 2: Zombies take over Midwestern town.

Resident Evil 3: Nemesis has no social skills.

God of War: Kill everything without wearing pants.

God of War II: Zeus is such a choad.


Above: Seriously – such a choad

Mega Man: Guts Man beats Cut Man.

Street Fighter II: Ryu wins, but doesn’t care.

Castlevania: Dracula can’t take a hint.

REmake: Zombie shark’s gonna eat you.

Legend of Zelda: It’s dangerous to go alone!

Final Fantasy VII: Sephiroth kills Aerith; everybody cry.

Prince of Persia: Princess rescued within the hour.

Halo 3: Not another effing Flood level!

Pac-Man: Wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka.

Final Fantasy X: Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka.

Silent Hill: Skinless dog in the fog.

Silent Hill 2: Shiba Inu rules the world.

Zelda II: The Adventure of Link: What’s this side-scrolling shit?

Darkstalkers: Street Fighter, but with monsters.

Ghosts ‘n Goblins: Quit gettin’ naked around zombies!

Donkey Kong Country: Apes love insane barrel cannons.

Ratchet & Clank: Robot on my back, what?

Gears of War: Chainsaw bayonet never gums up.

Peter Jackson’s King Kong: The Official Game of the Movie: Kong dies at the end.

141 comments

  • michaellam - March 17, 2010 4:17 p.m.

    Darksiders:DMC, Portal, Zelda Assassin's Creed II: Wow, another codex ! How exciting! Uncharted 2 : Nearly fall down a cliff
  • FinderKeeper - March 17, 2010 9:04 a.m.

    "God Hand: Glowing super arm spanks women." Bionic Commando: played too much God Hand. ;-) You guys should mention God Hand more often. I'm seriously. After all, it's by the same studio that did uh... what's that other game again? :-D (yes, I bought 'em both)
  • Spybreak8 - March 16, 2010 11:26 p.m.

    Haha my favs are the Popcap games but overall you gotta love the title of the game and then the 5 words are the title of the game haha. I got one C&C4:Tiberium Twilight: C&C goes FPS & Deathmatch?!
  • tacehtselrahc - March 16, 2010 8:59 p.m.

    Tony Hawk Ride/DJ Hero: Activision wants all your money. Duke Nukem Forever: Yeah tell me about it.
  • Morethan3words - March 16, 2010 4:38 p.m.

    Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time - Hey! Shut the f*ck up.
  • Nivawk - March 16, 2010 6:08 a.m.

    MW2: making love with tactical knives Starcraft: "Need additional Pylons", ahhh shit.. World of Warcraft: It started off like starcraft ODST: Huh? Crap... hammer!!! SHIT HUNTER!!! Darksiders: War upon heaven and hell Tekken 6: multiplier camera angles suck dick Battlefield BC2: I SHOT HIS HEAD OFF?! Saints row 2: When isn't Violence an answer? Saints row: Gave my xbox red eye.....
  • Nivawk - March 16, 2010 5:44 a.m.

    Halo 3: Im A Firing my Lazor
  • Grif - March 16, 2010 3:55 a.m.

    Mirror's Edge: Run your stupid ass away
  • mdiaz033 - March 16, 2010 1:49 a.m.

    dear GR, this article sucked (except for a few good ones). seriously i didn't laugh until i read the comments...
  • sleepy92ismypsn - March 16, 2010 12:07 a.m.

    the only diffence between san andreas and the other gta's is that san andreas has a jetpack. wtf?
  • sened - March 15, 2010 7:11 p.m.

    Halo series - Most Overrated game on decade GTA4 - Why can't you get fat
  • robotechandnarutosucks - March 15, 2010 7 p.m.

    Why don't jews eat pork? Because they don't like cannabalism. How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagen Bug? You can fit 30. 4 on the seats and 26 in the Ashtray. What's the difference between a Pepperoni Pizza and a Jew? Pepperoni Pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the Oven. How do you start a Jewish Marathon? Roll a Penny down a Hill. How do you scare a Jew? Turn on the oven. Q. Why aren't there any Jewish mothers on parole boards? A. They'd never let anyone finish a sentence! Q. What is the difference between an Italian grandmother and a Jewish grandmother? A. One says, If you don't eat, I'll kill you, and the other says, If you don't eat, I'll kill myself.\n Q. Why is money green? A. Jews pick it before its ripe Q. How was the Grand Canyon formed? A. A long, long time ago, a Jew dropped a nickel down a gopher hole. Q. How was copper wire invented? A. Many years ago, two Jews found the same penny. Q. What's a jew's idea of Christmas? A. Parking meters on the roof. Q. What does the Jewish Santa Claus say? A. Ho! Ho! Ho! Anybody wanna buy some toys?\n What is the difference between a Jew and a canoe? Canoes tip What's the object of Jewish football? To get the quarter back What did the little German boy get for his birthday? Easy bake oven and a G.I Jew Who is the greatest Jewish cook ever? Hitler
  • tacehtselrahc - March 15, 2010 5:08 p.m.

    S.T.A.L.K.E.R. Shadow of Chernobyl: I want to be rich??? Tom Clancy's H.A.W.X.:Physics? never heard of it.
  • ondx - March 15, 2010 1:25 p.m.

    Metal Gear Solid 2: Holy sh*t a naked dude MAG: 3 minute run then death Heavy Rain: Annoying kid deserved his faith MW2: a better place to camp Battlefield BC2 Multiplayer: Shot by a sniper again!
  • ryno - March 15, 2010 1:10 p.m.

    i bought Okami as well
  • gribb85 - March 15, 2010 11:19 a.m.

    Forza Motorsport 3: British announcers are pompous and annoying.
  • ViolentLee - March 15, 2010 9:28 a.m.

    Band Hero: Genre's 15 minutes are up. Mega Man 10: Easy Mode equals short bus. COD Modern Warfare 2: Thanks Vince, Jason. You're fired! Mass Effect 2: What?! No Miranda lesbian scene?!?! PlayStation Move: Graphics aren't Wii's biggest problem... Yakuza 3: Otaku mouth breathers cry rivers. Prof. Layton 2: Quality dropoff. Japan has five?! Darksiders: Outsells Bayonetta; world truly ends. Angry Birds: 2D Boom Blox. For $0.99!
  • Kariodude - March 15, 2010 6:09 a.m.

    Pong: Ball goes boop boop boop
  • tacehtselrahc - March 15, 2010 5:46 a.m.

    Half-life 2: The best game ever made. Half-life 2 Ep2: Strider battle is f***ing awesome. Assassins Creed 2: Stabbing people up renaissance style. Bayonetta: About as sexy as syphilis.
  • awil117 - March 15, 2010 1:53 a.m.

    World of Warcraft: Too many nerds to imagine. Halo: Quit your bitchin stupid Cortana. Gears of War: Chainsaw noobs suck ass, always. Gears of War 2: Chainsaw noobs still suck ass. Uncharted 2: Not ever charted, among thieves. Guitar Hero: Makes guitarists feel like retards. Rock Band: Makes everyone feel like retards. Killzone 2: Great graphics, suck ass game. Spider-man 3: Mary Jane gets bitch slapped. LittleBigPlanet: 4-players makes it fun. Call of Duty: World at War: Russians really don't like Nazis. Gamer: Dexter takes over by masturbating. Alien vs Predator: Scary if you are human. Bioshock 2: Big sisters are very annoying. lol

Showing 1-20 of 141 comments

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