Games summed up in 5 words

94 of the shortest reviews you'll ever read

In Hollywood, any movie whose premise can be described in five or fewer words is (ironically) called “high concept.” And as much as we love videogames, let’s face it: by those standards, most of them are pretty damned high-concept. That’s part of what makes them fun. And in a celebration of that fun, we’ve randomly selected 94 different games and summed up their entire premises (or just something instantly recognizable about them) in exactly five words.

Got it? Enough blather. Games in five words GO!

Contributors: Mikel Reparaz, Brett Elston, Eric Bratcher, Michael Grimm, Charlie Barratt

Blast Corps: Dump truck on the moon.

Above: It’s true!

Super Mario Bros.: Can’t jump over the flagpole.

Resident Evil 2: Zombies take over Midwestern town.

Resident Evil 3: Nemesis has no social skills.

God of War: Kill everything without wearing pants.

God of War II: Zeus is such a choad.

Above: Seriously – such a choad

Mega Man: Guts Man beats Cut Man.

Street Fighter II: Ryu wins, but doesn’t care.

Castlevania: Dracula can’t take a hint.

REmake: Zombie shark’s gonna eat you.

Legend of Zelda: It’s dangerous to go alone!

Final Fantasy VII: Sephiroth kills Aerith; everybody cry.

Prince of Persia: Princess rescued within the hour.

Halo 3: Not another effing Flood level!

Pac-Man: Wakka wakka wakka wakka wakka.

Final Fantasy X: Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka Wakka.

Silent Hill: Skinless dog in the fog.

Silent Hill 2: Shiba Inu rules the world.

Zelda II: The Adventure of Link: What’s this side-scrolling shit?

Darkstalkers: Street Fighter, but with monsters.

Ghosts ‘n Goblins: Quit gettin’ naked around zombies!

Donkey Kong Country: Apes love insane barrel cannons.

Ratchet & Clank: Robot on my back, what?

Gears of War: Chainsaw bayonet never gums up.

Peter Jackson’s King Kong: The Official Game of the Movie: Kong dies at the end.

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